#and I overslept by FIVE FUCKING MINUTES

[staringamassivemistakeintheface]

So, the university’s chapter of the Wildlife Society does a river otter population survey close to the start of each semester. I had been really looking forward to it, it seemed fun. I had my clothes set out and everything, I had my alarm set nice and early.

Well. I guess I accidentally turned off my alarm at some point before I went to bed. Because they left campus at 7.

I woke up at 7:04.

FUCK!!

[batsplat]

Wait what’s the tea on Valentino’s sleep patterns 👀👀 (fellow insomniac / recent motogp fan always looking for more representation)

oh yeah, if you're looking for representation for poor sleeping habits you've very much come to the right place. his sleep patterns are pretty remarkable you have to say. way too nocturnal for a professional athlete, reliant on naps to get through the race weekend, all power to him for somehow making that work and winning all those titles. pretty sure I've read somewhere that he's still known for doing sim races at ungodly hours these days, just how he lives his life

tbh I can't remember off the top of my head where I'd actually read about his sleeping patterns, but I've cobbled together a decent selection of quotes from the usual sources. the most interesting stuff he's said on the topic is in his autobiography - where he goes into rather a lot of detail about his preference for the night. given that it's quite a lengthy passage, I've chucked it under the cut. he frames his nocturnal inclination as not only suiting his natural body clock better, but also as a way of escaping the rest of the world - of being able to move around in peace and silence and anonymity. plus, he liked to spend his nights in the garage to... *pinches bridge of nose* have some special personal time with his bike, when it was just the two of them. take that as you will

before that, let's just start with a few more general descriptions of his sleeping patterns. from early in his career, jerez 1998 (from oxley's vr files):

The camper only holds two people, but that's okay. I don't like my dad to sleep with me, because when it gets to ten o'clock he starts saying: "Vale, Vale, got to bed!", but I can't go to sleep before one or two. We did share a motorhome in '96 and it made life very, very difficult for me.

and about brno 1999 (from oxley's vr files):

On weekends when I'm not racing, I never go to bed before six or seven on Sunday morning. If it's a party, maybe even later, but going to bed at six in the morning is quite normal for me! Even when I was 14 I used to go to bed at 4am. Quite often I'd be riding around the local minimoto tracks until after midnight! If I go to sleep at 11 or 12 I just lie there, my eyes wide open. Maybe I would be good for 24-hour racing!

and then a few years into his premier class career, valentino says the following (x):

'I have a lot of energy after 2am,' Rossi agreed. 'I like to sleep in the morning. I have some problems at the start of the day.'

we've also got a description of crew chief jb's influence in terms of making sure valentino wasn't slacking off by sleeping in (from oxley's vr files):

Burgess' talents aren't restricted to getting the best out of a 500. The Aussie has been in GPs for decades and knows how to extract the best from riders as well. He expects 100 per cent commitment both on the track and in the pits, and when he doesn't get that, he gives 'em hell. Some other crew chiefs won't do that - they're too overawed by their riders' superstardom. JB laid down the law last summer when late-sleeper Rossi turned up late for practice. Rossi suggested that in future one of the crew should be despatched to his motorhome each morning to make sure he was out of bed. No way, said Burgess, I'll be there to give you your wake-up call. Rossi's not overslept since.

and from 2001, in valentino's own words:

Q: Tell us about your sleeping habits, JB has had to wake you a few times for practice... VR: I never go to bed before 1 o'clock, and there's no limit on when I go to bed, but even when I go to sleep very late I always wake up at 8.30, though when I do wake up I always have a big confusion for the first five minutes, then after that I remember: "Oh fuck, I'm at world grand prix!" So I have a shower and then I'm okay. I never get up too close to riding time because the 500 is a dangerous bike so it's necessary to be awake when you climb aboard. Back in the afternoon after practice at four or five o'clock I'll sleep for another hour.

only semi-related but valentino's also talked about... you know, this generational shift - where the sport has become more professionalised, which is reflected in certain lifestyle changes (from barker's rossi biography):

"The next generation is always stronger. They are more professional, they put more effort in, they make a perfect life, they eat in a good way, they don't drink, they go to sleep early, they train every day from the morning to the night... I come from an era where the riders drank beer and smoked cigarettes!"

also plenty of talk of jet lag obviously... doesn't struggle with it too much headed westwards because he says he basically lives on american time anyway. the other direction is tougher, but in his youth he decided that he might as well try to continue living on italian time. so he essentially went racing at 5 in the morning (about phillip island 1998, from oxley's vr files):

I don't have a problem with jet lag, I always sleep. Last year in Indonesia I stayed on Italian time for the whole grand prix - so I was racing at five in the morning! But the difference is too great to do that in Australia.

how on earth are you racing motorcycles like that. mind you, he won that 1997 indonesia race

so yeah. king of disordered sleeping. given the nature of motogp schedules and how they do kind of require you to actually get up in the mornings, congrats to him for being remotely functional during race weekends. crazy how he even won the odd race

and here's the autobiography passage:

My day, usually, begins in the afternoon. It’s as if I exist inside my own personal time zone. I live at night, because I love the night. Now, this might make you think I do goodness-knows-what in the wee hours, or that I don’t live the life of a professional athlete. It’s true, I don’t live the life of an athlete in the traditional sense — early to bed, early to rise and all that — but this does not mean that I’m not careful about what I eat and drink or that I don’t train. In fact, I train a lot, both in the gym and on the bike. It’s just that I go to the gym in the afternoon, rather than the morning. Equally, when I’m training on the bike, down at the quarry, I always go in the afternoon, never at nine o'clock in the morning. My body has a certain type of metabolism. It is used to living according to a different body clock. That’s why, even if I’m travelling all over the world, I don’t experience jet lag and I rarely go to bed before 3 a.m. It’s much more likely that I’m just tucking into bed as people are leaving for work. As I say, I have a special relationship with the night. I like moving in it, living in it, thinking in it, relaxing in it. The night fascinates me, because it’s the period of least confusion. The world calms down, it goes quiet. And, besides, I’m Valentino Rossi. I’m wanted... I'm a fugitive. Yes, I’m always running away from my _ beloved countrymen. The Italians. I’m proud to be Italian, I'm proud of our merits and I regret our shortcomings. Italians are exceptional people. In every way. Even when they start loving you. Because that’s actually when problems can arise — if it’s you that the Italian falls in love with. Italian people are warm, empathetic,��spontaneous. But they can also be excessive, oppressive and disrespectful. I don’t know who said that Italians will forgive everything except for success. Whoever it was, they were right. Because it’s absolutely true. After the 1997 season, I could tell I was becoming popular. Year after year, that popularity turned into fully fledged love. They’re in love with me now and, as a result, since the 2004 season, I’ve been a man on the run. And there’s no escape, no end in sight, because wherever I go they find me. There are simple things, the little pleasures in life, which I simply can’t engage in when I’m back in Italy. I can’t go to the bar and have a cappuccino, because I would not be able to drink it. To be fair, I can do it in Tavullia, but that's the only place. If I go more than a few kilometres in any direction from the centre of town, that's it, everything changes and I become, once again, a hunted man. I can’t walk into a store, look at something and decide what I want to buy. In fact, I can’t stop anywhere, not even at a petrol station. If I stop, I’m screwed. Somebody will recognise me (Italians are exceptionally good at recognising people), make a lot of noise, call other people and then, before I know it, I’ve been swallowed up by the crowd. If I schedule a meeting with someone, we have to meet in a secret, out-of-the-way location and, even then, we can't linger. I can't go to a restaurant if there are too many people inside. And if I do go, I can't go at a normal time, say eight o'clock. I have to go later, much later, when people are leaving. And I can't sit where I like, I have to hide away in a corner, in the shadows. As for places like cinemas or the beach, forget about it. They are just always off-limits.

Having said that, I do mix with people. I do it because I like doing it. It’s just that I wish I could do it as a normal person, because, deep down, I am a normal human being. This is part of the reason why I have to live at night. It would be that much tougher during the day, with all those people about. Plus, I don’t like the traffic, the chaos, the noise, all those people running all over the place, stressed out and out of breath. The night is different. Everything is softer, there are fewer people around and you are much more free. It’s like a parallel dimension. The world is different at night. Everything is different. That’s why I’ve assimilated the lyrics of a song by the Italian artist Jovanotti, “Gente. della notte” (“People of the night”). It has become my personal anthem. Jovanotti is one of my favourite singers and I find myself agreeing with him on most things. I love his work. What else can I say? The night is my reality. And I don’t change just because Grands Prix are scheduled during the day. My way of being and living is reflected in what I do during races. I don’t really change. Obviously, I don’t go to bed at dawn, but let’s just say that when I do, finally, go to bed, there aren’t many people around. Everything is better at night in the paddock. There is silence, the people _ have disappeared and, with them, the chaos. I can wander around freely, most of all I can enjoy the empty pit area and my bike. Yes, my bike. Because at night I often slip into the team garage. At some races I do it every single night, because I love being with my bike. My night-time activities can be traced back to the years racing in 125cc, and are directly tied to my passion for aesthetics and the stickers, which would later become my obsession. I don’t leave anything to chance'when it comes to choosing the colour or the stickers for my bike. That’s why I’ve always been central to any and all discussions when we were deciding the aesthetics of my racing bikes. I’ve done it always, with every bike, at every level, with every team. And, naturally, I still do it today. Nobody has ever been allowed to attach a single sticker to my bike, unless it was the logo of a technical sponsor. Until a few years ago I was totally inflexible about this. Now, Roby takes care of the number: he attaches it because then he needs to cover it in transparent paint. But apart - from -this, which is primarily a technical procedure anyway, I take care of everything else to do with the stickers. And this takes time and planning, which is why I started going to the garage at night. During the day it is packed with people. There are mechanics, technicians and others around. I would just get in the way, if I wanted to get near the bike just to check the stickers. As I got older and progressed from 125 to 250 and then to 500 and on to MotoGP, I maintained that passion for aesthetics and stickers, as well as the habit of dropping in on the team garage at night. I enjoy the bike during the day _ obviously, but my relationship with the bike is so special that I can spend hours with it, just looking and admiring it, making sure that everything is in order. Those are very personal moments which I find difficult to describe. The Japanese guys, both the executives but also the engineers never knew this, not the guys at Honda, not the ones at Yamaha. I don’t think they would really understand. They would probably view it as a waste of time, since I don’t actually do anything concrete. I never touch anything to do with the bike itself, beyond, obviously, the stickers. And yet I find it hard to explain to an engineer that I enjoy simply being near the bike, even when I’m not doing anything. It’s a complicated concept to explain: the risk is that people will think that you're crazy.

During the day everything happens so quickly, frenetically, neurotically. However, there is a sacrosanct moment when I need to step away and isolate myself. Once my commitment to the team is over, usually around 5.30 p.m., I retire to my motorhome, relax and take a nap. It usually lasts a couple hours and then I go out. There’s always something to do after dinner. Of course, the range of options depends on how many friends are around. I really start enjoying the paddock around ten o'clock at night. Before going to sleep I check on the bike again and then I go into the team motorhome, which serves as an office. Now that I’m at Yamaha, I have an office all to myself. That’s where I keep all my race gear. I do this for two reasons. My own personal motorhome is an absolute mess, nothing more fits in there and I probably couldn’t find anything amid all the junk. Plus, the office is where I change into my racing suit before going out on to the track. Thus, at night, after going to the pits to see the bike, I go to make sure that all my stuff is where it should be: gloves, suit, socks, boots . . . everything needs to be perfect, because I just don’t have time in the morning to hunt around for stuff. Thus, each morning I have to follow a very precise routine. I’m like a robot, everything is the same each day. Because the truth is that I need to be like clockwork. I just don’t have the time to think. Somebody generally comes to wake me up — usually it’s Jeremy, because he doesn’t trust my ability to wake up on my own! I then get up, wash my face (my eyes are still shut at this point) and try to stay awake as I ride the scooter from the motorhome to the pits. I then go up to the office and get dressed. There too everything is done mechanically. It takes the slightest hiccup to throw everything off, forcing me to be late to the testing.

"I find it hard to explain to an engineer that I enjoy simply being near the bike, even when I’m not doing anything. it’s a complicated concept to explain: the risk is that people will think that you're crazy" well -

[feelbokkie]

L♡VE IN F♡CUS | Chapter 12

PAIRING: idol!Changbin x fem reader

WARNINGS: mention of food and eating, swearing

GENRE: smau, crack, angst, fluff

P♡V: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

SUMMARY: Amateur concert photographer Y/n has recently been promoted to junior music journalist. Her first assignment? An exposé on the popular Kpop boy group, Stray Kids. Spending an entire tour doing in depth interviews with eight men seems simple enough, but one member isn't exactly open to the idea. Will Y/n be able to break down the walls around his heart, or will her big break turn into a big disaster?

TAGLIST: closed

W♡RD C♡UNT: 6,009

A/N: we only have a few more chapters of the ones that I pre wrote to last when I think this hiatus will last so I spread the releases of these chapters a bit so they can last a bit. sorry for the wait.

PREVIOUS | MASTERLIST | NEXT

©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

You mindlessly scroll through Twitter while you wait for Changbin to join you for breakfast. Your notebook lays open next, ready to add any last-minute questions you might come up with that you should ask him or if you see any questions that fans want answers to that are reasonable.

It's early—almost too early—in the morning for your brain to be working. But with the lack of an itinerary, you had to schedule the meeting with Changbin this early so you can try to figure out how the day is going to go. The concert went slightly longer than it should have last night when Felix's "Let's go one more!" turned into five more. After that, you got caught in traffic on your way back to the hotel. You’re not sure if it’s the post-concert adrenaline that you’ve grown accustomed to or pure anxiety from your one-on-one day with Changbin, but you couldn’t sleep when you got back. So you decided to get some work done editing pictures until you felt tired enough to sleep.

Unfortunately for you, that came an hour before you needed to wake up. And even then, it was more like your body forced you to go to sleep than you actively decided to go to bed. You’re glad you had some sense to set your alarm ahead of time or else you definitely would have overslept.

Ding!

You let out a deep sigh as you click over to the message you just got from your team leader. Seoul is only 2 hours ahead of Bangkok meaning that he’s already back home from church and decided to torment you all before lunchtime. He may be a worse workaholic than you.

“You’ve got to be fucking joking,” You grumble under your breath as you scroll through the message he sent you.

“If you’re fussing about me being late, I still had 10 minutes before I needed to be here, noona,” Changbin speaks lowly as he takes the seat across from you.

From the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of a staff member, a babysitter as you like to call them, taking a seat at a table nearby. They sit just out of your view but right in Changbin's line of sight. There's a rotation of the same four staff members who accompany you and the group on official outings. It's annoying asking the members a question and watching their eyes drift off to the side to get approval, even for the simplest questions. If you were a bolder person, you'd take advantage of the times you hang out with the members off the clock and ask them questions without their babysitters. But even you know when to draw the line between work and pleasure.

"You're fine. Honestly, I expected you to be a little late. You're part of insomniac-racha, no? We got back pretty late so I thought you'd sleep in a bit." You exit out of the message from your team leader and slide your phone into your camera bag. You'll worry about it later.

"Of the four of us with bad sleep schedules, I have the best one. I can guarantee you that Chan hyung, Hyunjin, and Jisung aren't leaving their beds before noon." He jokes a little louder as he sets a jacket down in the chair next to him.

Changbin's a bit more dressed up compared to the other times you've met up with him. Photo ready. His hair, a now faded dark green leftover from last month's Japanese comeback promotions, is straightened again, his bangs only giving a slight preview of his forehead. He is wearing a short-sleeved button-up shirt that is a similar green to his hair. The green shirt is unbuttoned, revealing the white tank top tucked into his blue jeans and accessorized with a matching black belt. A simple outfit for probably one of the more complex members of the group. Even his accessories are simple. A single, silver ring on his right ring finger, two small layered silver chains, and black-rimmed glasses that you know he doesn't need but somehow ties the whole outfit together. You didn't manage to see his shoes before he sat down but you wouldn't be surprised if they matched the color scheme of his outfit. If you didn't know any better, you would have thought that he touched up the color of his hair to match his shirt.

He's certainly dressed better than you are with your baggy blue jeans, oversized black graphic shirt, and red Converse that you threw on before you left the hotel. It's the least professional outfit you've worn on a workday, but you didn't really care. You're too tired to care. And besides, your job is to be behind the camera not in front of it. Nobody is going to care that you aren't wearing makeup or that you're wearing a face mask and glasses to cover up the dark circles under your eyes that are permanently etched into your face. Or that your hair is going to spend the day in a messy bun or loose ponytail. They're only going to care that you get exemplary shots of their bias.

"Good morning, by the way, noona," Changbin lowers his voice again, so as to not to disturb the other people in the diner.

You chuckle at the delayed greeting. "Good morning, Changbin,"

"Did you order already?" Changbin takes one of the menus that is sitting on the table and skims through it.

"Not yet," You shake your head as you take the other menu. "I didn't know when you'd be here and I didn't want you to feel like I was rushing you. This is one of those places where you have to go and order at the front though so just tell me what you want and I'll get it."

"I'll order for us. It'll probably be easier." Changbin says casually without looking up from his menu.

"You know Thai?" You tilt your head to the side, dumbfounded.

"Chan hyung is close to BamBam seonbaenim and one of his love languages is learning languages. He always tries to teach us what he knows." You can't see his face beneath his mask but you can hear the soft fondness for Chan in his voice. "Plus, I believe that there are five fundamental things you should know in terms of foreign languages: how to order food, how to ask for directions, how to shop, proper greetings...and how to ask where the bathroom is."

You can't help but laugh at the last addition. You can only imagine how many times he's gotten in trouble before he realized he needed to learn the last one.

"Okay, you can order for me. Your Thai is probably better than mine anyway." Truth be told, you were fully prepared to head to the counter with your broken Thai and the menu and just pointing at what you wanted to order. Part of you is grateful that Changbin offered to order instead.

"What do you want?" He sets the menu down, finally settling on what he wants.

"This," You turn your own menu upside down and point at what you wanted. Thankfully, the menu had English descriptions right next to them. "And the largest, strongest ice coffee that they have."

There's an expression on his face that you can't read for a moment before he nods. You watch as he walks over to the Skzigi sitting near you and has a brief conversation with her before going to the front counter to order. You laugh to yourself when you finally see his shoes: white sneakers with green on them.

You quickly jot down what Changbin said about Chan and BamBam and about the five fundamental things of learning a new language in your notebook while they're still fresh in your head. You have a tape recorder for the actual interview portion, as old school as that sounds. But you don't want to pull it out now and be rude. You're extra cautious around Changbin and any sort of recording device you have after what happened in Sydney. You two may have reconciled, but you know he still doesn't fully trust you.

Changbin comes back from the counter and walks straight back to the Skzigi, handing her a receipt. It only now just dawned on you that he went up to her earlier to ask what she wanted to eat and ordered it for her. You take note of it in your notebook. It's one of the few things that you've noticed about all of the members, their kindness towards their staff. You've been around groups that treat their staff members as poorly as you can imagine. Or, if it's not the entire group, it's a few members. It's refreshing to see that the entire group treats the staff like they're a part of the group as well.

"How much what my stuff?" You ask Changbin when he sits back down with you. You pull your phone out and open up to a money transfer app.

"Don't worry about it." Changbin waves off as he puts his receipt in his pocket.

"I can pay for my own food." You blink.

"I'm using the company card. All of our meals today are on JYP PDnim."

You'd believe him if you hadn't spent months hearing the other members saying the same thing despite the fact that you say them using their personal cards. Most of the other members already blocked you on money-sharing apps or disabled their Apple Pay so you couldn't pay them back. You're almost certain Changbin hasn't done that yet.

"Changbin--"

"It's fine, noona," He sits up straighter in his chair.

"...I'm paying for lunch. But thank you" You sigh as you see that Changbin also blocked you. At this rate, you're going to be pulling out a suspicious amount of cash by the end of the tour and sneaking it into all of their suitcases.

"We'll see," He laughs. "What pissed you off earlier?"

Your mind trails back to the text from your team leader that you never responded to. You quickly go back to the message and put a thumbs up to it so he knows that you saw it. If you didn't, he'd end up sending you a bunch of emails and texts later until you acknowledge him despite it not being a work day and you're technically out of the office.

"I was just reacting to the list of comebacks and debut albums for January. Which just means I'm going to have more reviews to finish over the holidays." You can already imagine how many albums and eps are currently sitting in your inbox.

"Isn't The Seoul Star a big company? Are you the only one there who can review albums?" You can feel the concern in Changbin's voice leap across the table and float around your head.

"It's...it's complicated. The short story is that I'm apparently too good at my job. The longer one is that it's all bureaucratic bullshit and I like being employed so I just keep my mouth shut and do what I'm told."

"If you're that good at your job, shouldn't they treat you better?"

"Am I the one getting interviewed? What's happening right now?" You laugh, but not because it's funny, but because you're too tired to get into that topic right now.

"Technically, the interview hasn't started yet." He says smugly.

"Speaking of which," You quickly shift the topic off of you, "where are we going first today?"

Changbin nods, realizing that you don't want to get into it. Instead, he follows your lead into the new conversation. "We'll see,"

"Excuse me?" You freeze. You want to hope that you misunderstood him or that he's playing coy. But you know him enough to know that he's being serious.

"We'll see," He repeats nonchalantly, picking at the nonexistent lint on his shirt.

“I hope that means you already planned everything today, like I asked you to do, and you’re going to wow me with your amazing travel guide skills.” You laugh nervously.

You know that if Changbin’s concept doesn’t look half as good as the other members, you’re in deep shit with their fanbase. While Changbin isn’t your favorite member because of how rocky your relationship started, you’ll have “Changbin anti” rumors circulating as soon as the magazine is released. Not to mention other rumors that will completely derail your career and everything you worked hard for.

“It means that we’ll see where the day takes us,” He clarifies, not that it makes anything better.

“I’m entirely too tired for this,” You mutter under your breath as you lay your head against the table. “I knew I should have planned something just in case.”

You sit there for a moment, your forehead pressed into your forearm, trying to even your breathing. Crying first thing in the morning in front of Changbin is the last thing you want to do. Crying in front of anyone is the last thing you want to do in general but in front of the man who most likely hates you is worse. Instead, you focus and try to remember some of the events that you looked up a few months ago.

We can try to do something with the floating market. It'll be harder, there'll be a lot of people around, and I'll have to edit their faces and hope the concept comes out well. There are too many Christmas events going on right now. Which would be nice if we were releasing the magazine now, but it's not coming out until the middle of next year. Going to The Grand Palace or temples might come off as distasteful and cause a scandal that neither of us would survive. Well, Changbin might survive it. His fans might just shove the blame on me. Which, in this case, would be correct. Maybe we can do a "Date with Changbin in Bangkok" concept and just have him eat street food. Even then, that's a pretty desperate and lame attempt that would reflect negatively on me. Not to mention the lack of permits for any of these places. It might be more complicated to explain to locals what's going on, especially since we can't really advertise for them. Maybe we can--

"Noona?" Changbin's voice calls out softly, his fingertips graze your arm almost shocking you out of your spiral.

"Hm?" You plaster on a fake smile and lift your head to meet Changbin in the eyes.

You've unlocked a new expression from Changbin. It takes longer than normal to register the furrowed brows forming three perfectly parallel lines between them, his lips pressed into a thin frown, and the way his eyes carefully looked over you as concern. It's similar to the one that Wonseok had on his face when you spent your first Christmas in Seoul and the two of you got drunk in his room after opening presents with his family. Right after you hit your soju limit you told him that it was the happiest Christmas you've ever experienced.

"Wipe that look off your face, you're weirding me out." You laugh as you push his hand off of your arm.

"I didn't think it would stress you out that much." He whispers, almost as innocently as a child who got caught doing something they shouldn't have been doing for the first time.

"You're saying that you wouldn't be stressed out if someone told you, last minute, that you had to freestyle your performance?" You scoff.

"I'm a rapper, I'm supposed to freestyle," He sits up straight again, finally removing his hand from the spot on the table where you pushed it to.

You pinch the bridge of you, throw your head back, and let out an exasperated sigh. You don't care how this comes off to the staff member sitting not even 3 feet away from you. "It's been so long since I've met someone who manages to piss me off every time they talk. You really know how to wear my patience down, don't you, Changbin-ssi?"

"I'm not--"

"Here's your food," The waiter says slowly, making sure that you and Changbin understand every word. He sets down the two plates towards the end of the table, not sure what belongs to who, but also not sure if the two of you would be able to understand him if he were to ask. He only heard you and Changbin speaking rather loudly in Korean earlier.

"Thank you," Changbin says with a smile and a nod. After the waiter leaves, he slides over your food, which had been placed closer to him. He leans in slightly over the table and whispers, "I'm not doing it on purpose."

"Could've fooled me," You mutter as you roll your eyes. You ignore the plate of food and take the glass of iced coffee that has, thankfully, been placed close to you and take a large lip of it.

You can't hide the face that appears on your face as the bitter taste of the coffee hits your tongue. Still, you force it down and set the cup back on the table, deciding to let the ice melt a bit to lessen the flavor. Changbin wordlessly slides the sugar packets towards you.

"Thank you," You whisper without looking at Changbin. You take four sugar packets and one of the vanilla creamers, pour them into your cup, and mix it quietly with a spoon from the table.

The two of you sit in relative silence in the diner, the only comfort that makes it not completely awkward is the white noise coming from the kitchen and the other patrons. You watch as Changbin fiddles with his utensils and his food, seemingly having to have lost his appetite.

"Look," You take another sip of the coffee and set it back down on the table, "I'm sorry. I'm just extremely sleep-deprived right now and it's making me act unprofessionally. Let's just eat and then we'll figure it out."

"It's fine. I'm sorry too. You're just so wound up and focused on your job all the time, I thought that I could...I don't know, force you to slow down today by being spontaneous." He finally stops playing with his food and shovels some of it into his mouth.

"There's nothing wrong with a strong work ethic." You shrug while taking a bite of your own food.

"There's a difference between working hard and working yourself to death." A hushed tone replaces his usual, booming voice.

You stop chewing for a second, studying Changbin. He keeps his head down as he eats, almost like he's refusing to look at you. You set your fork down and lace your fingers together as you place them on the table in front of you. You twiddle your thumbs together as you think about your words carefully. The caffeine coursing through your veins is already causing your previously sluggish brain to work faster than it did earlier.

"We've been on tour for three, almost four months now. In that time, you've done 18 shows in 10 different cities." Changbin glances up at you as you lean in a bit closer. "And during that time you've also promoted a Japanese comeback, performed at and attended award shows, completed countless interviews, worked on and promoted collabs, worked on an entirely new comeback for next year, and filmed content for future projects. And that's just you. The other members had their own schedules--hell, some of them attended fashion week or flew back home to help other artists produce songs. And I know for a fact that you're planning that comeback to be released in between the gap between the first and second leg of the tour.  The call is coming from deep inside of the house."

"You've got me there," Changbin sets his utensils on the side of his plate. He takes his napkin and dabs the corner of his mouth before placing it on his lap. He pauses for a moment before making eye contact with you again. "But at least I know how to relax on my days off."

You smirk as you let out a huff of air, your patience wearing thin again. "You have seven other group members that you can lean on when work gets to be too much. I don't have anyone. I may wear a Skzigi badge, but I'm not one of them. I'm an outsider to them. My team back home only sees this as a glorified vacation, I can't even complain to them without coming off as entitled. I don't have the luxury to relax."

A sinking feeling in your chest overwhelms you, filling you with dread. You've become concerningly aware of the staff member sitting near you, who is most likely going to gossip with the other staff members about you later about how unprofessional you are and how rude you've been to Changbin. You squeeze your eyes shut, almost like a child.

One...Two...Three...Four--

"Noona--"

"Forget it," Your eyes snap open as you quickly cut Changbin off, not really wanting to hear his pity for you. You pick up your fork and go back to picking at your food. "Just eat and find something for us to do with lax photography policies. We're wasting time with the conversation. It's not going to change anything."

***

"You don't cook a lot normally, do you?" You ask Changbin as you go over the pictures in your camera. The tape recorder you've been using all day sits between you. Both of you have small mics so that you can be heard loud and clear when you play it back later.

The day ended up well, despite its rocky start. The two of you went to the floating market after agreeing to do a food theme. You got pictures of Changbin "buying" fruits and vegetables from merchants on the boats. You even bought some actual fruit and got pictures of him eating them. You did some walking around and got pictures of Changbin at some food stalls, one of which the three of you actually ate at. You found a Thai cooking class for tourists and rented the space so that you could get pictures of Changbin cooking. Overall, it looks like another date concept, but it comes off almost like the Stay is going through a sort of farmer's market with Changbin and then cooking dinner with him. You got some amazing shots of Changbin feeding the camera that you're really proud of. You even had some time earlier to explore the more scenic routes around Bangkok, which is why the two of you are taking a bus ride over an hour back to the hotel.

Click

You turn to Changbin, who sets down the disposable film camera you gave him earlier in his lap. He peers over your shoulder to see what you're looking at. It's a picture of Changbin looking at an egg that he dropped on the floor. You know there's a picture somewhere of him holding a pan on fire that you took almost 20 minutes after that.

"It's not that I can't cook. Like most things, if I focus and try my best, I can do it." He speaks clearly and loudly so his voice isn't muffled by his mask. He lets out a soft chuckle like he's remembering something fondly. "But I don't trust myself in the kitchen. I'll end up wasting more things because of mistakes so I just order food or let one of the members that can cook take over. I know when to step away and let the professionals take over. I'm not as bad as Yongbok...Ayen, or Kim Seungmin though."

"So you're asking Minho to cook a lot then?" You set your camera down and rub your eyes. You're not sure if sleep is catching up to you or if your eyes are tired from looking at the camera screen.

"Yeah but...Minho hyung is a bit funny." He laughs as he leans his head against the back of the seat.

"Funny how?" You tilt your head.

You watch as Changbin's eyes shift over to the Skzigi sitting in front of you, asking permission to talk about it. You hate when the members do this. Especially when they do it over questions that are nowhere near controversial. The Skizigi's back is facing the window of her seat so she can keep an eye on the two of you and prevent anyone else from sitting near you and hearing your conversation, not that they would be able to understand you anyway. She pauses for a moment, looking up from her phone, before giving him a soft nod. She glances around before gesturing for Changbin to answer. There are not many places for people to sneak up on you since you're sitting in the back of the bus.

"I don't know if it's because he has that tsundere thing going on or because he's an only child so he's not used to all of the attention, but...Like if one of us asks him to make something directly, he'll say 'No.' Or if one of us just mentions that we're craving something and he happens to be in the room he'll say 'Just use your food delivery app.'"

You laugh, you've witnessed similar scenarios with Minho where he's done things like that with the other members more than enough times for you to believe it. "That sounds like Mr. Cat."

"Right?" He continues. "But then a few days later he'll call and say 'Come over, I made too much food to eat by myself' and it's the food we asked him to make or mentioned. And no matter how difficult it was or how much time he took, he'll play it off like it was no big deal. You've heard about the Beef Wellington story, right?"

Changbin's voice has a certain...soft fondness that you don't think you've heard in anyone's voice as he talks about Minho. You only just now noticed that he does that when he talks about any of the members.

"You mean when he spent like...four hours making Beef Wellington for Felix's birthday?" You recall.

"Exactly! He's always taking care of us like that. He pretends like he doesn't care about us or that he can't be bothered but..." Changbin glances over the Skzigi again. This time she hesitates to answer. Instead, he ignores her and turns his attention back to you before she can object. "It's all an act for the camera. But he truly cares about and loves the members. Even if he won't admit it. He is more of a 'showing his love through actions' person than a 'speaking his feelings' person."

You glance over to the Skzigi this time, mentally taking note of the annoyed look on her face. You know she's going to say something to you later.

"You know," You speak loudly so she can hear you as you turn back to Changbin. "I've been around a lot of groups where it's blatantly clear that their relationship is just a business one. But, after spending these past four months with you guys, I can see that you guys are an actual family."

"A family?" Changbin's voice trails off as he looks past you and out the window behind you. "Yeah, we are...I used to beg my parents and pray when I was little for a brother. And now I have two older ones and five younger ones."

You almost miss the worried look that appears on the Skzigi's face. Changbin catches it and thinks to himself for a moment.

"Take out the part about me praying about it. You can just say that I begged my parents for a brother." He says softly.

"Understood," You nod. You make a note of it on your phone just in case the mic didn't pick it up.

You understand why he said it. Even though his contract renewal gave him more freedom, there are still things he can't talk about. Or rather, he shouldn't speak about to protect his idol image. You remember the backlash Felix received just for being seen holding his Bible and mentioning that he'll pray for fans.

"I think we're done for today," You yawn as you turn off the tape recorder and shove it into your bag, along with your phone.

"Are you tired, noona?" Changbin asks, snapping back into his normal self.

"I think all the caffeine I've consumed today has escaped my body," You yawn again. If you're being completely transparent, you've lost track of how many coffees you bought today after the third one.

You squeeze your eyes shut and open them as wide as you can to keep them from staying shut. You slowly take apart your camera and pack it away in your bag as well. Still, the low lights in the bus, the quiet ambiance from the few passengers, and the stillness of the night are starting to make your eyes feel heavy and unfocused.

"An hour? Noona, that's not healthy." Changbin nearly shouts.

"It's fine. You guys have your own schedules for the next few days before we leave for Jakarta. I'm going straight to bed and sleeping in tomorrow since you don't need me." You grab your bag from your side and set it between you and Changbin on top of his jacket so you're sure you won't forget it.

"Yeah, but that's..." Concern laces Changbins voice as it trains off. "We're still far from the hotel and it looks like we're in traffic. Why don't you rest? I'll wake you up when we get there."

"Hm, maybe just for a moment. I'm probably going to end up knocking out at this rate anyway." You yawn again as you rub your eyes.

You settle a bit more into your seat, resting your head against the back of your seat and crossing your arms across your chest. You let your lead heavy eyes and don't try to open them again.

The three of you sit in silence for a while. You can hear someone typing away on their phone. Somehow, it doesn't annoy you. It's almost like ASMR.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch this morning," You mumble.

Thud

You force one eye open to see the Skzigi bending over to pick up her phone. You let out a soft chuckle at her reaction to hearing you swear. You don't do it often. Another sign of how tired you are. You close your eye again.

"I-I wouldn't use those words," Changbin clears his throat nervously. "But you're fine. I was being rude and frustrating earlier. Your frustration with me was completely valid. I'm sorry,"

"Apology accepted."

The two of you fall silent again and the soft typing resumes. The bus moves forward a little and then stops, almost like it's rocking you to sleep. Only, a thought pops into your head as you try to drift off to sleep.

You try to shake it out of your head to no avail. The more the louder the thought gets in your head, the more away you're becoming.

Fuck,

“Can I ask you something else off the record?” You break the silence again.

“Go to sleep, noona,” Changbin sings softly.

“Just one last thing, I promise.”

Changbin pauses for a moment, debating letting you ask the question. You crack your eye open again to find him deep in thought. After a moment, he turns to you. “If I don’t feel comfortable, I’m not answering.”

“Okay,” You nod, closing your eye again and resuming your previous position. You sit there for a moment, thinking of different ways to phrase the question.

“Noona?" Changbin whispers softly. "Did you fall asleep? Or are you having second thoughts?”

“I’m not having…It’s just a complicated question to ask.” You breathe.

He gently knocks your knee with his. “Stuff like that is off the table, you know that.”

“This has nothing to do with your romantic life, family, or private life.” You say quickly.

He pauses for a moment again. You're not sure if he's thinking or trying to read your thoughts. You're too tired to open your eyes and check to see what he's doing. You hear a soft sigh before he opens his mouth. “Then why are you having trouble asking it?”

“Because it’s…” You press your lips tightly into a thin line as you try to find your words. Your brain is nearly mush in its current state. You give up trying to find a diplomatic way of asking the question and just go for it. “Why did you hate me at first?”

More silence. You're almost certain that he's planning on getting out of the question by waiting for you to fall asleep. You hear him clear his throat again.

“I didn’t hate you." He says faintly. "I don’t hate anyone.”

“Bullshit,” You snort.

Thud

“I’m telling you the truth!” He says a little too loudly.

It's enough to make you jump and open your eyes. You scan the bus, none of the passengers seem disturbed by the volume.

You place your hand on Changin's forearm as you shush him.“Shh, okay, I believe you,”

“Sorry,” He lowers his voice, almost whispering. “Look, I didn’t hate you. Hating people isn’t good for your health and it takes too much energy away from you that you can use on something else.”

“But, you definitely didn’t like me,” You push.

“Not because of who you are.” He reassures you.

You think for a moment as you go back into your sleep position. “Because I'm a reporter?”

“Exactly,” He hums. You can almost picture him nodding his head as he says it.

"But you do interviews all of the time. I saw the Rolling Stones article. The journalist is a good writer, but you seemed comfortable."

"That took a while to get to that point. But after what happened at the MET Gala...I've been cautious around photographers and reporters. And this situation is...it's different because you're always around. Always watching and listening."

"Not always," You laugh to yourself, "As you pointed out earlier, I'm always working and I'm not around to that often."

"I know...Anyway, I was just worried about the group. It's our seventh year. It's a scary time, anything can go wrong, even if we don't do anything. We've reached a new level of fame this year and with that comes unwanted attention. It's hard to know, at this point in our careers, who is there to help us and who is here to harm us."

"...I'm here to help."

"I know that now. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize."

"It's fine," You yawn loudly.

"Go to sleep, noona," Changbin whispers softly. You can almost feel his breath on your ear.

Satisfied with the conversation, your brain rapidly returns to sleep mode. You offer a hum in response to Changbin. The bus starts moving again, pulling your body deeper into the state of sleep.

Your body is in a weird state where you have no real concept of time. It feels like you're only resting your eyes. You can hear the low hum from the bus moving and gently squeaking as it slows down. But your brain and body also feel like you're asleep. It feels like it's only been a few moments, but your eyes are glued shut. You can't even open them to check the time on your phone.

You feel warm all of a sudden, almost like you've been covered with a blanket. A few moments later, or soon after you can't really tell, you feel like you're falling. A few more moments later you feel something touch the side of your head, making you fall faster, just before the other side of your head hits something soft. You feel a soft smile creep on your face, but you're no longer in control of any part of your body anymore.

Click

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

TAG LIST (closed)

Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you (either at all or properly)

@amyyscorner @puppysmileseungmin @lixie-phoria @yongbbokkie @spearb-99 

@weird-bookworm @stayconnecteed @brain-empty-only-draken @hanniemylovelyquokka @sunshinessky 

@marked-unknown @lanatheawesome @theblindhag @skz-f0rlif3 @f9clementine 

@kalopsian-thoughts @ismelllikechlorine247 @hyunjineret @kangaracharacha @slut4colinbridgerton 

@reverse-soe @cupidsmoons @jungwonderz @szkstay @tenmii 

@stay278 @phtogravi @hannahs-docx @jihanlovic @alnex05 

@beccaskz @starlostastronaut @itsseohannbin @kayleefriedchicken @anushasstuff

@jutdwae-archives @dazzlingjade @itzella @divineinsanity

[izvmimi]

cw: pop star!au. fem!reader with diva & tsun tendencies. sfw but suggestive. possibly may have more parts.

When you finally show up to the studio, having woken up hours past your expected alarm such that you had to skip your yoga and your poolside brunch, your assistant is not happy to see you in the least, and the rest of your camera crew is at least a little bit miffed.

And quite frankly, you don’t give a flying fuck. 

You’re about forty-five minutes late, but the fact of the matter is that the main attraction is you, and only you, and as one of the top international pop stars of the decade, you have gotten a little too comfortable with letting your whims set the tone of things. The hustle and bustle of the set however starts up again the moment you walk in, as your head assistant claps her hands and lets the crew know to set up cameras, makeup and outfitting to get ready to put you in their chair and turn you magical. 

You walk right up to her and give her a cheeky grin. 

“Sorry, I overslept.”

Aya wishes she could throw you out of the nearest window but settles to say slap a script in a sheet of paper into your chest.

“This is the plan for the music video. Read this and don’t piss me off.”

You frown as you take it from her then scan through the crumpled piece quickly. Your newest music video is supposed to be a bit sexier than usual, with a pretty generic storyline - you play a damsel in distress saved by a dashing hero, the trope subverted by the fact that you’re a succubus, far from someone to be saved. You’re excited for it, having played a little bit too close to sweetheart territory for so long, and it’ll be your first time having an actual top Hero as your love interest, unlike your prior models who were more props than anything else.

But there’s one issue.

You crinkle your nose in distaste.

“You got Deku!?”

Aya raises her eyebrow adjusting thick rimmed glasses as she repositions her stance as though she’s preparing for a fight, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Is there a problem?”

You groan dramatically, then rush past her, pretending to be aggravated as you make your way towards the breakfast spread that has remained untouched until you arrived and stuff a dry croissant in your mouth.

“I asked for a hot Hero! Sexy! I ask you to do your goddamn job and you hire a man with green Teletubby energy!”

Somebody beside you scoffs, and as the two of you glance in the worker’s directions, he’s unable to stifle his laughter before he walks off, pushing a cart of cleaning supplies with him. You twist your mouth to the side, hands on hips, then turn your attention back to Aya.

“So you’re telling me Dynamight, Red Riot, and Shoto were unavailable?”

Aya’s lips press into a thin line. Despite being your assistant, she’s still one of your closest confidantes and she bites back just as hard as you can, and as usual, she does so now.

“I said, don’t piss me off, Tinkerbell. I’ll have you know I spent a lot of extra time making sure to-” she stops chewing you out suddenly, her eyes wide, and you blink, then turn. 

Deku is standing right behind you, and you’re 100% certain he heard your exchange. If he’s upset, he doesn’t show it, instead he’s smiling sheepishly, his hand scratching the back of his neck. 

“I think Kacchan was a bit busy and uh… Shoto probably wouldn’t have done this anyway, he’s not the type. As for Red Riot… that I’m not really sure...,” he trails off, pensive.

You blink at him rapidly as you crane your neck to look at him.

Pro Hero Deku is a lot taller than he looks on television. His face is still boyish and friendly, the harmless look not necessarily limited to television, but when you take a look at the rest of his countenance, broad shouldered and thick, it’s clear that there’s a reason why he’s topping the charts currently.

Even if his soft look doesn’t particularly scream sex appeal. 

“Sorry you’re stuck with me.” He bows politely, hands pressed against the sides of his jeans. “Let’s work hard together!”

When he rises, he’s looking at you with hopeful anticipation, and the way his eyes practically glow with earnestness actually upsets you.

You open your mouth then close it. The diva persona of yours isn’t without an ounce of empathy, but he’s already getting on your nerves. You look at Aya who gives you the glare she does when she wants you to behave, but you’ve already stomped your foot and stormed away.

Frustrated and unsure why.

“I’ll be at my trailer, call me when we get started.”

—

The problem is that he’s hot, and you hate to be wrong.

The type of hot that makes your head spin when you’re too close, that makes you forget the words you’re supposed to be singing to him, that makes the fans that blow through your wig and flowing clothing not enough to manage the heat that runs through your body.

“Get closer!” the videographer screams behind the camera and you swallow thickly as Izuku moves first, crossing the already minimal distance between the two of you to wrap his arm around your waist and the other around your shoulders. It’s supposed to be a romantic, protective pose, and he’s not looking at you but at the camera, but he’s so close, he smells good, his clothes are dramatically torn, ripped in the way you’d expect after a tense battle but artificially so. Your heart thumps as if he were protecting you for real, and you hope he can’t sense it, the disarray that’s running from your center to your fingertips as you try desperately to figure out where to put your hands. 

“___, can you please find a way to make this look more natural?” you’re being barked at by your greatest hater and favorite employee.

Aya, please shut the fuck up, you want to tell her, but Deku hasn’t let you go. 

“Next take.”

Deku finally releases you and you let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding. He’s smiling, the makeup dust and grime and blood barely marring his handsome features, in fact accentuating them.

They didn’t have to make him look this good. You’re going to have a talk with the visual designer, this is getting ridiculous.

“Sorry, was that okay?” He’s still smiling, bashful as if he’s the one who can’t stop looking at you, and imagining how his hands would feel pressed against your chest, when it’s very clearly the reverse. You wonder for a moment how easily he attracts the opposite sex with this sweet boy act, as if the plentiful scars on his broad chest, littered over his arms and likely below the pants hanging low on his waist, creeping past the Adonis belt aren’t evidence that perhaps he’s not so toothless after all.

You want to practically smack him, he frustrates you so damn much.

“Adequate,” you answer. The director tells you to take five and you step away quickly, practically falling off the fake set rubble on your way down.

You can’t even stumble the way you want to, because Hero Deku is fast and is holding onto your arm before you can make your way down.

“You okay?”

Unwittingly, you give him a distressed look, and he lets go quickly, and you storm off.

“I’ll be in my trailer!” you announce again, while the workers grumble that you’re supposed to literally only take five.

Aya is chuckling to herself this time, because she’s clocked you a mile away.

Tinkerbell has a crush.

[lovelywritinglady]

Beach Days

Gojo Satoru x f!Reader

Reader and Gojo spend the day at the beach together along with their classmates. Fluffy, Gojo being a slight ass. Some Nanami x reader because I felt like it. (especially after season 2 of JJK)

“Pleaseeeeee, come one Y/nnnnn! It’ll be so much more fun if you go too!” Gojo practically yelled trying to convince you to go with him and a few other classmates to the beach this Saturday.

“Gojo I already told you I’m busy that day.” You told him as your eyes never the assignment you were working on.

“Look I will fucking pay you to go with me, just please tag along! You ain’t afraid of water are ya?” He teased

“Fine, I’ll go. However, you’ve got to promise not to whine when I have to leave early. I have a test that I need a lot of time to study for.” You reluctantly told him secretly happy that he asked you to go to the beach with him and your other classmates. You blushed at the thought of being able to be with them in a positive way instead of fighting curses.

“Yesss, I promise we’ll have a shit ton of fun! And don’t you worry about that test. Even if you didn’t study you’d ace that shit, but as long as you go I won’t be sad you’re leavin’ early I guess.” He said excitedly with a slight pout on his oddly perfect lips.

“Maybe you’re right, but I’m not taking any chances.” You slightly laughed finding it cute that he was pouting a little.

“Alrighty, we’re all meeting up at the front of the school and taking a school van at 11. Don’t be late sugar.” Gojo stated as he quickly left but not before giving you a wink and a big wave goodbye. You rolled your eyes at his flirting but still felt butterflies in your stomach all the same. You hated your crush on Gojo but, seriously, who could help themselves when it’s the Satoru Gojo.

The next day…

You arrived at the meeting spot five minutes before 11 just in case. Funny enough, only Nanami Kento, your classmate, was there witha borded expression on his face. You walked up to him with your beach bag in hand and wished him a good morining.

"Good morning Nanami." You spoke to him giving him a small smile

"Ah, good morning L/n, I'm guessing that Gojo's constant pestering go to you too." He said in an irked tone.

"Yes, he was quite annoying about it, but I think it'll actually be good for me to have a relaxing day at the beach with you guys. Besides when is the last time we were together that didn't include killing something." You pointed out

"True, I didn't take that into consideration. It will be nice not having those responsibilities for once." He agreed giving you a small smile.

"So where is Haibara? Isn't he normally with you?" You asked him genuenly curious where your sweetheart of a classmate is.

"He said he would meet me here at eleven due to the face that he overslept a bit. I came earlier just in case Gojo decided to be spontaneous again and leave without us." Nanami responded checking his watch.

"Makes sense you'd be here early. You're always so punctual, that's what I like about you so much!" You complimented him giving him a wide smile.

"Oh, well thank you L/n." He said quietly blushing slightly at your niceness.

"Anytime, now when will they get here?" You questioned out loud.

As if you could see the future, there walked your remaining classmates along with their beach bags. Gojo, funny enough, had a big pink flamingo floaty on his arm and you laughed slightly at the sight. As soon as he saw you he picked up the pace, giving you one of his signature goofy smiles. Geto, Shoko, and Haibara waved at you and Nanami and the two of you returned the gesture. Your attetion turned to your white haired classmate as he strolled right up to you.

"You actually came and early too!" Gojo said excitedly

"Of course I did. I decided that it would be nice to get some sun." You told him slightly blushing at his exposed abs as him, Geto, and Haibara all were shirtless except for unbuttoned shirts.

"Well good Y/n, glad you're here!" he said getting closer to your face making you blush more.

"Alright Satoru, lets get loaded up!" Geto yelled getting into the drivers seat.

Everyone got in and Nanami made his way to sit next to you only for the seat to be taken by Gojo. You gave Nanami an apologetic smile as he took a seat next to Haibara instead. Gojo started yapping on about some video game he just started playing with Geto and how he was kicking his ass in it. You heard Geto mumble how Gojo was actually losing a lot, which earned a few chuckles from you and your other classmates. Gojo pouted and looked out the window with a huff. You thought it was cute seeing his lips pucker the way they did. A few minutes passed when he finally got out of his little trantrum and gave his attention to you. He began yapping and then proceeded to ask you all kinds of questions. However, one question stuck out from the rest.

"So y/n you got a boyfriend or something?" He asked but unlike the other questions, he spoke in a serious tone.

"Um...no." You responded back slightly confused as to where this question came from.

"Hmm... okay then!" He chirped and continued yapping once more. You looked at the front of the van only to see Geto smirking at you which caused your face to feel hot and your hands slightly clammy.

"Oi Y/n! Oi Y/n! Y/nnnnn, are you paying attention?" You finally heard Gojo whine.

"Oh sorry, what were you saying?" You asked giving him an apologetic smile. This yapping continued as Geto drove everyone to the beach.

After some time later, you all arrived at your beautiful destination. Geto and Shoko were the first ones to get out of the van. You and Gojo followed and then Nanami and Haibara were the last ones. You took in the sights before you. The ocean was a magnificent deep blue and the beach was vibrant white. The sun beamed down on you making you squint despite the fact that you were wearing sunglasses.

Before you could react you saw Gojo, Geto, and Haibara all running at full speed as they raced towards the water ahead. You could hear Haibara say the sad was too hot as he finally made it to the water, coming in third place with Gojo in first. A laugh erupted from you and Shoko as you held onto each other. You then looked at Nanami who had a content smile on his face which made you even happier. Just as you were about to say something to him, Shoko grabbed your arm pulling you to the other boys that were now splashing each other aggressively.

“Come on y/n!” Shoko yelled as she pulled you. You can’t remember the last time she was so lively, but you relished in it.

“Shoko we need to put sunscreen on first.” You giggled

“Oh yeah, right.” She stopped giving you a sweet smile.

“Might as well set up a spot too I guess.” You chimed in. You looked back at Nanami who also made

“Good idea, because there is no way in hell these boys are going to do it right. Well maybe Nanami.” She spoke.

The two of you then set up a spot with towels and a few beach umbrellas. It didn’t take long as the two of you were eager to be in the water. You and Shoko then got the sunscreens out of your bags and began putting it on yourselves. What you didn’t notice was Gojo staring intently at you, as he had for nearly the whole time you and Shoko were setting up the spot.

Just then, Gojo ran up to the two of you. His whole body soaking wet from the endless splashing he did with the boys. He stood in front of you with a wide grin on his face.

“Hey, you need help putting that sunscreen on y/n? Wouldn’t want ya burning.” He asked with a playful smirk

“Sure, why not. Thank you Gojo.” You responded handing him the bottle of sunscreen.

He took it happy from your hands as he gestured for you to turn around, to which you obliged. You could hear the sound of it opening and soon enough Gojo was applying it on your back. You didn’t even realize the furious blush on your face in this moment. The feeling of his hands on your body gave you goosebumps. And a content sigh left your lips. Gojo chuckled at this as he took it upon himself to give you a small massage which made you let out another sigh.

“There that should be good.” He commented but before you could respond he bent down and began whispering in your ear. “Y/n from now on I’d be honored if you’d call me Satoru.” He whispered as his right hand was still on your lower back. You turned your head to look at him as your eyes met his. You were so close to each other and if anyone was looking at the two of you, they would assume you guys were a lovesick couple. Shoko who was next to the two of you smiled thinking how finally the two of you were finally getting somewhere.

“Thank you Satoru.” You whispered looking back in fourth between his lips and his piercing eyes.

“Anything for you.” Satoru responded getting closer.

You moved yourself closer too even though space was rather limited at this point. You could feel his breath on his face. His eyes bore into yours as you couldn’t hide the fact that you wanted him to kiss you. Satoru could tell you wanted it and just as he was about to kiss you a beach ball was launched at the two of you. Thankfully, Satoru turned on his infinity shielding the two of you from it.

“Sorry Satoru! Sorry L/N!”Yelled Geto who stood in the water.

“Dammit Suguru!” Satoru exclaimed as he ran towards Geto. As he did he made sure to turn and give you a wink before running off towards his best friend.

Satoru tackled Geto and the two of them began wrestling in the ocean. This made you roll your eyes as Shoko laughed. The rest of the day consisted of you and Shoko talking under the umbrella talking and enjoying each others company. And occasionally going to the beach and making sandcastles. The boys spent the day playing in the water and making a sand fort. Nanami and Haibara took a walk down the beach with Haibara talking Nanami’s ear off, not that he minded. All of you enjoyed your time so much that when it was finally sunset, it had felt like the day had passed quickly.

“We should probably get going soon.” Shoko groaned.

“Yeah, or else Yaga is gonna be on our ass for being late.” You sighed dreading going back to school.

“Ha, not you with your perfect grades and all.” She teased putting away her beach stuff.

“Oh hush.” Responded.

As you and everyone else were putting away your stuff, you noticed Satoru missing from the bunch. You looked around only to see him standing in the ocean looking like he was staring off into the distance. He looked sad, almost melancholy. Your heat skipped a beat and before your brain had any say, you walked up to him. You then stood next to him looking up at his expression. He still hadn’t turned to you but you soon felt his hand grasp yours. You let this happen wanting to feel his warm hand on yours too. You both enjoyed the warm and comfortable sounds of the ocean with the waves crashing softly against your knees.

After a little while, he turned his head in your direction as a small smile appeared on his face. He couldn’t help but look at you. To him you were simply beautiful and someone he looked up to. You were strong, brave, and kind. However, you never boasted your power like he did. Instead you were humble about it and always congratulated others on their achievements without even a drop of envy. You were someone he dared admit that he really liked. And he was so glad that you agreed to come here on this beach trip with him. He then sighed gathering enough courage within him to ask you something that had been plaguing his mind for months.

“Y/n..” he dragged out feeling nervous

“Yes Satoru?” You asked with sweetness lacing your voice. This made his insides turn to mush.

“I’m sorry if this is forward, but would you like to date me?” He asked feeling relieved that he finally got those words out. You paused for a second taking in the question he asked as your chest filled with a warmth that only he seemed to ignite within you.

“Yes.” You replied simply. As you turned your head to him squeezing his hand softly as you did so. You then smiled at him giving him a loving gaze that made him give you one back. “What took you so long?” You teased to which he rolled his eyes playfully.

“To be honest, you make me nervous. You’re strong and your confident. And that’s super sexy.” He teased back wiggling his eyebrows

“Oh shut up.” You replied

“Oi, lovebirds we gotta go!” Yelled Geto from a distance.

“Shit.” You both muttered at the same time.

You both the began walking hand in hand back to the van. However, with a sudden burst of confidence, you swiftly turned around wrapping your arms around Satoru’s neck. His expression was a mixture of excitement and shock. You then pressed your lips against his, piling him closer to you. Satoru wrapped his arms around your body pulling you closer too as he reciprocated the kiss adding even more passion. His lips were addicting to say the least abc you wished that you had more time to savor him. Satoru felt the same as he brought one of his hand ups to your face caressing it slowly. You then broke the kiss feeling hot from the feeling of being that connected with him.

“Are you okay?” He whispered being his other hand up to your face as he held it gently.

“Yeah, are you?” You asked putting your hands on his giving him a content smile.

“I’m absolutely perfect.” He replied

“We should be getting back not.” You said reluctantly

“Yeah, don’t want Yaga getting on our asses for being late.” Satoru said as he took your hand once again as the two of you even waking. You already missed the feeling of his large hands on your cheeks.

“True that.” You replied giving his hand a squeeze.

“I’m glad you came with us today.” He said happily.

“Me too.” You replied.

“Fucking finally.” Geto and Shoko said in unison as you and Satoru sat together in the van. A furious blush gracing both of your cheeks.

“Agreed.” Nanami sighed behind you.

“Happy for you guys.” Haibara chimed in being positive as usual.

“Thank you.” You replied to him putting your head in Satoru’s shoulder.

The drive back was peaceful and filled with hope. Despite your lives, you and Satoru were content knowing that despite the shit that you would both experience, you would have each other. As the future for you both you be tough but in the end happy…or was it?

Thank you so much for reading!💜

Please feel free to request, comment, like, and reblog

Click here to see what I’ll write for and click HERE for my master list.

•I do NOT own any characters except y/n•

-L.W.L

[lovings4turn]

୧ ‧₊˚ ☕️ ⋅ ☆ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭…

— in desperate need of caffeine, logan stumbles into the first cafe he comes across. little does he know, this will be the start of something great.

+ the first part of my whole latte love series , aka my child , so i hope you all enjoy <3 this is set in the uk , but reader isn't specified to be any particular nationality !

+ dividers from benkeibear !!

there were many sacrifices logan sargeant was willing to make in his life.

flying halfway across the world aged only eleven to pursue his dream of racing, for one. on a smaller scale, always allowing his brother dalton to ride shotgun on family trips, despite the fact that the backseat caused his legs to cramp up after a few hours.

but, no matter how late he was running, logan had promised himself he would never, ever deprive his body of a hot, caffeinated beverage before a meeting. 

on this particular morning, though, logan was running especially late. normally, the jarring sound of the iphone alarm would snap him from his deep sleep within seconds, the noise sparking an instant feeling of dread within him even when it wasn't coming from his phone. 

he’d learned that alex had a habit of setting alarms for various things throughout the day, before promptly forgetting what he’d set it for, leaving logan to go through the five stages of grief at least four times a weekend. 

but it seemed today the universe had been a little bored, and so decided to find entertainment in burdening a poor, unsuspecting american race car driver with one minor inconvenience after another. 

firstly, his alarm hadn't woken him up. correction: it had woken him up, just thirty minutes after it was supposed to.

secondly, his pride in managing to get dressed with an impressive five minutes to spare was quickly dissipated when he couldn't find his keys or wallet. the hunt had set him back another ten minutes (because why on earth would he think to check the cutlery drawer until he had run out of other possible options?).

and, for good measure, he'd tripped over his own welcome mat in his mad dash out of his apartment. so, yeah, it had been a morning, to put it lightly.

logan cursed to himself as he all but jogged down the busy street, eyes desperately scanning every building he passed in search of a cafe. he was too frantic to read any shop signs, but when he witnessed two girls walking out of a doorway clutching two paper cups, he knew he'd struck gold.

fucking finally.

logan offered the pair a tight lipped smile as he slipped past them and into the cafe, letting a sigh of relief escape his lips as the familiar smell of strong, freshly brewed coffee hit him. 

this was more than worth being late for, he decided. he'd pick up a few extra coffees, as an apology, a courtesy of some kind. who could be mad with a cup of coffee in their hand? though logan figured he was allowed to be a little lax in his timings anyways, since he was no longer in his rookie year at williams. the team would forgive him quick enough.

trainer-clad feet led him towards the back of the fairly short queue leading up to the counter, and logan took the opportunity to slip his phone out from his coat pocket and shoot a quick text to alex. he hoped his teammate wouldn’t mind bearing the responsibility of updating the rest of the team on his whereabouts. 

‘sorry, overslept. omw now though, bringing coffee as an apology and effort to keep my head’.

three laughing emojis quickly flared up onto logan’s lockscreen, and he took that as a positive sign. 

it was only when logan placed his phone back into his pocket that he realised just how close he was to the front of the line, and immediately began rehearsing his order. sure, he ordered the same thing practically every single time he got coffee, but with the day he was having, he’d probably find a way to absolutely butcher the simple order.

all he needed was his oat milk latte, a black coffee for james, and some sort of sugary, overly sweet concoction for alex. he doubted this place sold the pumpkin spiced lattes that he loved to tease alex about ordering, so he’d just have to find the next best thing.

only, when he finally stepped up to the counter and opened his mouth to order, his mind went blank.

standing only a few feet in front of him was the most gorgeous person logan had ever seen, and considering he’d travelled the world and met countless different women and men over the years, that was an impressive achievement. 

you, luckily, hadn’t noticed the internal reboot logan was experiencing, and focused instead on offering him a warm smile and greeting.

“morning! what can i get for you today?” you asked, finger poised and ready to input his order into the till in front of you.

logan barely managed to stop himself from physically shaking his head in an attempt to clear it, before pasting a crooked grin of his own onto his lips.

“good morning,” he returned, voice a little quiet before he cleared his throat and spoke up again. “can i just get a large black americano, large oat milk latte, and uh,” logan paused, eyes quickly scanning the board in front of him as he weighed up all of the different syrups available. 

vanilla, caramel, hazelnut, and oh, thank god, cinnamon. that was close enough to pumpkin spice, right?

“and a large cinnamon latte, please. oh, to take out.” he finished, finally returning his eyes to you as you skillfully rang through his order.

“ah, great choice,” you commented, your smile still never having left your lips. 

from the moment he’d opened his mouth, you’d quickly registered the accent, though opted not to comment on it despite how pleasing it was to your ears. of course there were no shortage of americans stepping into the cafe everyday, but there was something about his in particular that caused your ears to perk up a little more. maybe it was down to the person it was attached to, instead. 

“and is that everything for you today?” you continued, snapping back into following what you’d aptly dubbed your ‘service speech’, a routine that ensured you didn't stumble over your words to every customer you served.

“that’s all, yeah.” logan responded with another small smile. 

“perfect. that’ll be nine eighty there.”

"great, thank you."

logan quickly pulled out his phone to pay, though as his eyes caught the small jar sat on the counter, ‘tips’ scrawled onto a label in nice handwriting, he wished he was paying by cash. a flash of hope ran through him as he dug his hand into his jean pocket, and he had never been more relieved to feel some spare change brush against his fingertips. 

barely even bothering to count how much was there – it looked to be about three pounds, but he could have been wrong - logan dropped it into the jar, offering you a sheepish smile. he felt a little foolish, paying by card and fumbling around for some cash, but the look on your face was more than worth it. 

“thank you,” you repeated with a soft laugh. “should be ready for you in two minutes.”

logan couldn’t bring himself to speak again, so simply nodded and moved to walk to the point he would collect his drinks from. before that, though, he would grant himself one, small privilege. 

his eyes quickly found your name badge, and he scanned it as subtly as he could before he walked away, the name replaying over and over in his mind like a broken record. but, no. broken records were annoying, an inconvenience, something to fix or throw out. your name was anything but. 

not even five minutes after he’d placed his order were his drinks placed onto the counter, each labelled appropriately to save for any confusion. a cupholder had also been provided, which logan was eternally grateful for. he didn’t think the three drinks would survive the short journey otherwise. as a treat to himself, he took a small sip from his latte and almost swore. logan didn’t believe in magic, but he was sure that this coffee was somehow laced with it. never had a simple oat latte tasted so good to him.

and, he thought, a little embarrassingly, never had someone looked so good making one, either. 

“see you later!” you called from behind the till, lifting your hand in a gesture that could be perceived as a wave, but also an attempt to smooth your hair a little. 

logan nodded and gave you a smile. you would definitely see him later. he had just found his new favourite coffee shop, and he wasn’t going to give it up any time soon.

☕️ . . . there it is , the first instalment !! i loved writing this so much - and actually did so with a cinnamon iced latte of my own , as alex and i are actually one and the same ! hope you all enjoyed , and thank you for reading <3

[808airsoftbros]

Irresistable Temptations (Miyeon/Sana) (S) (BXG)

Y/N’s POV

What was supposed to be a peaceful sleep after a long night of working at my job was interrupted when my phone kept ringing from a wave of notifications.

I need to put that damn thing on sleep mode or else Imma fucking lose it...

Rubbing my eyes, I grabbed my phone and switched it on to see the notifications board to see over five missed calls from Miyeon and Sana.

“What do they want now?” I asked myself.

Using Face ID to unlock my phone, I go into the messaging apps and text in the group chat to ask why on Earth did they call me so early?

“Y/N, you want to go the beach with us?”

“Come on, I’ll be fun~😉“

“Ugh fine what time?”

“Sana and I are driving to your house rn will be there in about five”

Good fucking grief couldn’t they have informed me earlier? Now I have five fucking minutes to get myself dressed and packed.

Sprinting up from my bed, I used mouthwash instead of brushing my teeth as all that mattered was having fresh breath in the morning, and changing into my swimming trunks.

I put on a comfortable and nice T-shirt, I packed up some sunscreen, water, snacks, and of course a change of clothes.

Hearing my phone ringing, I looked at the screen, and Miyeon texted that she just pulled up at the front of my house.

Grabbing my bag, I checked last minute to ensure I didn’t forget anything, and I ran outside through the front door.

On the driveway in front of my porch was Miyeon’s car, she tells me to hurry up and get inside, and I hop inside the back seat.

“Good morning, Y/N~!” Sana greeted and I sighed.

“You two couldn’t have told me earlier that will be going to the beach today?” I asked and she pouted.

“Sorry, Y/N, we were supposed to tell you yesterday but we forgot and to be fair, you kind of overslept,” Miyeon replied.

Starting up the engine, she takes off the parking brake, we were on our way to the beach.

Looking at the time, it was nearly six in the morning, and the sun hasn’t exactly risen just yet.

The drive was about fifteen minutes long, when we arrived at the beach parking lot it was as empty as a ghost town as everyone is still asleep at this hour.

Parking at the closest stall possible, we get out of the car, grab our stuff from the trunk, and walked to a spot on the sand.

We placed the beach towel, set up the umbrella, and chairs, and put our bags on the towel.

I take off my shirt revealing my toned abs, and I can’t help but be proud of myself as I’ve been deadlifting for a couple of years.

However, I was slightly flustered and turned on as the girls removed their tank tops and shorts revealing their swimsuits, and it's clear they take pride in their bodies as their idols.

Shrugging it off, I put on some sunscreen on my body starting with my arms and legs as the girls do the same.

But I can’t lie that I did catch some glances of their bodies as their bikini tops don’t exactly cover up their breasts that much.

“Need some help, Y/N?” Sana offered and I nodded.

Squirting some sunscreen gel onto her hands, she spreads it all over my back and gives me a little massage and it felt nice and relaxing.

Suddenly, I felt something grabbing my crotch and I opened my eyes to see Sana’s hand and I turned around to see her smirking at me.

“No. No. No. Bad Sana.” I said as I take her hand away from my pride and she pouted.

“Come on, Sanake you’re going to make the baby nervous~,” Miyeon said as she cracked open a can of juice.

After that, we all watched the sun rising from the horizon slowly turning night into dawn but there were some unexpected complications.

“Hey there, sweethearts, what you two doing here this early~?” I see a couple of shitbags saying.

“Sorry, not interesting,” Miyeon brushed them off.

“Come on, we can have some fun~,” One of the clowns persisted.

Getting up from the towel, I hastily approached them and didn’t hesitate to punch that idiot’s nose so hard that he fell over.

“Who the hell do you think you clowns are? We were just enjoying the sunrise until you two dickheads ruined it.” I angrily said.

“Asshole, how dare you?!” The other clown asked as he tried to punch me but I parry and grabbed his arm.

“Last chance to walk away, bud...” I threatened.

“Or else what?” He sarcastically asked and I twisted his arm.

“AAAAAAHHHHH!!! YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!!!” He cried in pain.

“Maybe you should’ve thought twice before sexually harassing these two girls, huh, dumbass?” I sarcastically asked.

With the two dickfaces having enough pain being inflicted on them, he picks his friend up, runs away, and I sighed in relief.

“T-Thank you, Y/N, those two were probably saesang fans,” Sana nervously said.

“No worries, I’d never let those creeps lay their dirty hands on any of you,” I replied and she blushed.

Enjoying the rest of the sunset, despite it being ruined by those two saesangs, we chilled as there was nobody here but us.

However, the girls asked if I could take some pictures for them and of course, I obliged but looking through the camera I can’t help but get even more flustered and I started to get turned on a little.

I took a few pictures of them together and behind as the bottom bikini piece reveals their ass cheeks causing my thing down there to act up.

“Fucking hell, come on, this is not a good time...” I said to my horny ass.

“Are you okay over there, Y/N? You look nervous and your face is so red. Did you put sunscreen on your face?” Sana asked and I gulped.

“Uhm...” I replied as I touched my face but didn’t feel any sunburns.

The two girls looked at each other and they smirked as they knew what was going on.

“Looks like our baby, needs some help down there~,” Miyeon pointed at my bulge and I blushed.

“Ah, crap...” I said to myself.

Miyeon and Sana then pushed me onto the towel before pinning me down and I didn’t do anything to resist as my brain was having an aneurysm.

Miyeon latches her lips onto mine while Sana was rubbing my trunks making my dick go even longer and harder.

“S-Shouldn’t we do this somewhere more private?” I worriedly asked.

“Don’t worry, honey, nobody else is here and it’s only a quickie so will be done way before anyone gets here~,” Miyeon assured before taking off her bikini top revealing her medium-sized mounds.

Without any hesitation, I sucked her right tit as I massaged her left book causing her loudly moan.

“Mmmm~. You love my tits don’t you baby boy~?” She asked before continuing to moan.

After Sana rubbed my trunks and my dick going hard as it could, she pulls down my trunks revealing my ten-inch rod making her mouth drool.

Instantly, she takes my length into her mouth and I felt her warmth as her tongue and lips were around my dick it felt amazing being blown by one of the hottest Kpop Idols in the industry.

Miyeon gets off of me, straddles on top of me, moves her bikini piece aside revealing her cleanly shaved womanhood, and slowly inserts it inside making her moan like crazy.

Feeling her walls tightly grip my cock was one of the best feelings ever to fuck an Idol as it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

“Ughhhh~. Why do you have to be so big, baby~?” She moaned as she rides me.

“Does he feel good, Miyeon?” Sana whispered and she viciously nodded.

“Ah, I’m so close, I’m going to cum~,” She warned before squirting all over my dick and she gets off of me.

“My turn now~,” Sana said as she straddles on top of me and takes off her whole swimsuit revealing her nude body resembling a Goddess.

Slamming her pussy onto my cock without any warning at all, I bit my lip as a wave of ecstasy crashed into my mind.

Sana rides rougher than Miyeon did as she bounced up and down while leaning forward for me to play and suck her mounds.

It didn’t take long until she finally came but I still haven’t cum yet but the two Goddesses were going to take care of that.

Sana gets off of me before going down to dick and they opened their mouths while jerking me off waiting for me to cum.

After a few more pumps, I shot a wave of strings of my cum into their mouths and all over their face making me lose my breath.

“Mmmm~. You taste so good, baby, thank you for the meal~,” Sana said as she licked the cum from her lips.

“We can do this whenever you like baby, and consider us as your girlfriends since we’ve been waiting for this chance for a long time~,” Miyeon whispered into my ear sending chills down my spine.

“But if we catch you flirting with another girl, we will make you regret it~. Understand, baby~?” Sana asked and I gulped.

“Y-Yes, Noona...” I nervously answered and she smiled.

“Hehe, now come on, baby, let’s get dressed up before everyone arrives and sees us naked, we don’t want that leaking on Dispatch do we?” Miyeon mentioned and we nodded.

Putting on their swimsuits, I slide my trunks back on just in time before the rest of the people come to join us at the beach.

When a few hours pass by, we decided to pack things up as we all began to starve and want to eat somewhere.

But just as I was going to enter the men’s bathroom, the two girls pulled me into the family bathroom and we changed together.

After we finished getting on our normal clothes, the girls put on black surgical masks to hide their identities, and we put our things inside the trunk before going into her car.

“Now, where shall we eat~?” Miyeon asked.

“How about pizza?” Sana proposed.

“Sure, pizza sounds good right about now,” I agreed and she nodded.

“Alright, pizza it shall be!” Miyeon confirmed as she opened the dominos app to order the pizza.

Author: Hello everyone, hoped you enjoyed that oneshot smut of Miyeon and Sana as this was another idea of mine. Also please do consider joining my discord server as I’m looking for new members and friends 🙂

Discord link: https://discord.io/808AirsoftBros

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-fourteen

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: Have fun 🪽🍡

Tags: @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @koskeepsake @bngurngheart

NOAH

My knee bounced with nerves as I sat in the chair in the quiet waiting room, the only noise came from the slow ticking of the clock on the wall opposite of me. I eyed it carefully as the seconds ticked by. My appointment didn’t start for another five minutes. I still had time to walk away from here but the daunting reality of the guys asking how it went today kept me rooted in place. So instead of dwelling on the fear of what’s coming, I typed out a new message on the Hollow Omens group chat.

Me: The new song premieres on Octane tomorrow night. Eight pm!

Malcolm: Oh shiit

Jolly: let’s fucking go! We’re excited for you guys to hear it.

Angel 🪽: excitement is so mother fucking real. I’m sad I’ll still be in Japan so I’ll have to figure out what time that would be here! I want to listen to it live.

My stomach dropped as all the wind got knocked out of me, the realization that Y/N would hear the song. The one I wrote about her in my haste of anger. Would she know it? What would she think?

Y/N had another week in Japan and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss her like fucking crazy. She’d already been gone a week so another seven days without her close to me made my heart stutter. I’d been taking care of Salem for her and the scent of her in her bedroom didn’t help the ache in my heart and stomach. I miss the way she smelled so when I noticed her perfume on her vanity; I spritzed the sweater I wore that day a couple of times, so it felt like she was close.

We kept our 2:30 FaceTime call every day since she left, even if it only lasted a few minutes. Just the occasional check-up on how things were going on each of our ends before she had to go, her dad having something planned for them. I called her every morning at 7:30, except this morning since I overslept. I was furious with myself but kept my cool as I sent her a text, letting her know I’d call her at 2:30 my time.

Angel 🪽: I’ll be in bed so don’t make fun of my bedhead.

Me: You’ll still look beautiful.

The corner of my lip turned up when I remembered the selfie I sent her the other day of Salem and I lounging on the floor of her bedroom.

Angel 🪽: oh, my baby! I miss you so much.

Angel 🪽: Oh, you too mochi!

Me: ouch, I’m hurt, angel.

Angel 🪽: I’ll make it up to you when you take me out for dinner. We can go half and half on an appetizer.

Me: For you? I’ll cover the whole bill while you order whatever you want.

Two days ago, Chase and Malcolm returned home so there was no need for me to check on Salem anymore. We expected Y/N to come back with them but she stayed longer for more one-on-one time with her dad.

“Noah?”

Snapping my eyes up to the petite voice, I nodded towards the older lady who stood at the open doorway of the office.

“I’m ready whenever you are,” she stepped to the side, allowing more space for me to walk inside.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek as my eyes cast towards the other door; the one that led outside where my car was parked.

“I hate to tell you this but even if you leave right now, I’ll still get paid,” the doctor joked with a small smile.

I hummed while slowly rising to my feet and walking past her into the office, the words on the door barely catching my attention. “Might as well get this over with.”

Dr. Poulos. Therapist.

NOAH

“Are you concerned she’ll be upset by what you’ve written?” Dr. Polous wondered while writing something down in the book on her lap.

I shrugged while chipping away the black nail polish on my fingernails. “Maybe.”

“Hm, I’m sensing you are.”

For the last twenty minutes, I told the therapist everything about my life; from the past till now. At first, I was apprehensive but knowing this was something I needed, I gave in.

“It doesn't matter. What happened is in the past. We’ve moved on.”

“Why are you using the past tense, Noah? She’s in your life. You’re starting over again, and trying things from a different approach.” Dr. Poulos steepled her fingers together.

“Yeah, I know,” I nodded

She hummed while sitting there to analyze me with her blue eyes, a slight pull on her thin lips.

“Y/N’S on a vacation, right?”

When I nodded, she continued. “Why don’t you take one as well? It might be good for you.”

I shifted on my spot on the couch, eyes darting over to the plant she had on the left side of her dresser. A bit fuzzy because of the connection between phone lines.

“I don’t need a vacation, that’s not what I do- I work. I have too much to do, so much shit to handle. Everything would fall apart if I didn’t,” I admitted. “It keeps my mind focused on what it needs to be focused on.”

Dr. Poulos raised a brow. “What shouldn’t you be focusing on?”

“I hate how much of my mind gets fucking distracted by her. It’s fuckin pathetic, all I see is a life I doubt we’ll ever have. Everything will be taken from me, I’m used to that by now,” I sighed while running a hand over my face.

“Your need to control everything is leaving you vulnerable to the parts of your life you can’t control. It makes you feel uncomfortable not being able to read her feelings, and control the situation, doesn’t it?”

My eyes snapped up from the floor, shoulders rigid with anger. “What do you think? I’ve never known the feeling of a stable home. There were so many years of my life living out of backpacks and on the road. I have these panic attacks, something she hasn’t seen, she doesn’t know about my darkness. She’ll never come back to me if she sees that.”

Dr. Poulos sighed while closing her notebook to set it on the table in between us. “You don’t know that, Noah. Unless you talk to her, you don’t know what she’ll think. Your issue with communication and feelings is, I think, causing a barrier between the two of you. You would rather live in your fantasies than risk giving up control. You wanted to give up control, even for a moment, and run. Are you upset you didn’t?”

I rubbed at my chin while adjusting my position on the worn leather couch. I didn’t know how to answer that so it took a few long beats of silence for me to find the right words.

“Fantasies don’t include repercussions. We were safe in our expressive, well-appointed studios, locked up with our rages and rebellions. I just want things to go the way they’re supposed to, the way I need them to. There’s no life without my band, my work, without her.”

Dr. Poulos smiled. “You don’t need to run from those feelings Noah, I think you need to start by opening up and letting yourself be truly honest. From the get-go, you’re only making yourself crazy running in circles, pushing your own limits.”

I couldn't help but snicker. “Are you sure you haven’t listened to my band before?”

She simply smirked while pulling out her schedule book.

“I’ll see what I can do,” I said, going back to her previous statement.

“It won’t be easy Noah, but I think we can start from here. What days work best for you?”

I mentally went through my schedule. “Wednesdays are fine. Just not at 2:30. I have another appointment I can't miss.”

NOAH

Music played from the speakers, bass pounding against the walls of the house, as I sat with Jolly and Michael on either side of me on the couch. It was still early in the afternoon so we hung out at the house. Jesse and Orie were cooking something on the grill while the three of us were browsing on our phones. My eyes were glued straight down at mine, my heart hammering throughout my body as my breath was still caught in my throat. My cock twitched lightly in my pants but I was frozen to adjust myself discreetly.

“How sweet does Y/N look in this photo?” Michael said while showing his phone to Jolly, who agreed with a small smile.

“Looks like she’s having fun. Noah, did you see it?”

I’d been staring at it for 5 minutes. Everything about it was beautiful. She was truly just as ethereal, as I said she was.

“I wonder if her caption is for a song,” Michael continued to analyze the picture, a little too long for my liking.

Realizing I didn’t even read the caption, I peered down and read it; my head tilted in confusion.

Fuck this wondering. Fuck this trying and trying. Fuck this belief that two people can become one ideal. Fuck this helplessness. Fuck this waiting for something to happen that probably won’t ever happen.

I knew it wasn’t good enough, no matter what I did, or how much I attempted to show her I was the man she needed. She didn’t want to feel trapped under someone’s gaze. Well, okay then.

Tossing my phone on the couch, I got up in a huff, irritated, walked to the kitchen, and slammed the cabinets as I looked for a glass.

“What’s the matter now?” Jolly asked with a sigh.

“Nothing,” I said while pouring myself some orange juice, slamming the fridge after putting the jug back.

“Who the fuck is slamming shit?” Jesse wondered while walking back inside with a platter of burgers and brats and setting it on the kitchen counter.

“Dude, it’s nothing.” I sucked in a breath, trying to keep my anger in check.

“Your actions beseech you, my friend, why are you mad?” Orie said now standing next to Jesse.

I shrugged while crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m just done,”

“Done with what?”

“Y/N feels trapped, Jolly! I knew she’d never fall back in with me. I knew it. She probably met some Japanese dude who can give her real ramen and is having the time of her fucking life. Maybe that’s why she hasn’t come home yet.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Jesse pinched his eyes in annoyance. “Noah, it’s not that deep. Nowhere in her post does it say that or imply that she’s seeing another man. Y/N is with her dad.”

“All I’m saying is she doesn’t need to be trapped under my gaze anymore, she can do whatever the fuck she wants,” I grumbled while sitting on top of the kitchen counter, legs dangling off the edge.

“You’re so dramatic. You can literally just ask to FaceTime her you know, talk this shit out like rational adults,” Orie said.

“No,” my voice was firm while my heart said something else.

It was almost 2 in the afternoon, which meant our daily FaceTime call would happen soon. Should I bring up the post to Y/N? Or just ignore it like we did every other elephant in the room.

“Good, good hide your feelings. Don't actually share them- see where that gets you.” Jolly shook his head in defeat then rose to his feet.

“We’re writing a record, aren’t we?” I shot back.

“Yeah that don’t mean-”

“Wait, sit down jolly. I just thought of another track. We need to write this down.”

With a reluctant sigh, Jolly pulled out his phone to type as I sang softly the melody that was buzzing in my brain.

“I asked for more than I could take with nothing left to give. So who, who, who, who are you, you? Who, who, who are you? Every day it’s all the same. I don’t wanna play your games. If you wanna know, it depends on who’s asking. Who, who are you?”

“You really are a head case you know,” Michael says before retreating up the stairs to his room.

“Good, don’t care!” I called back before jumping off the counter. “Shit, we need a new amp tuner! I’m going to head to the record store and get a new one.”

“You can use mine,” Jesse said with a mouth full of cheeseburger.

This mother fucker is always munching on something.

“No, it’s fine, I need to clear my head, anyway. I’ll be back soon.”

NOAH

I held my phone in my hand, the constant ringing as I walked towards the record store irritating my already on-edge attitude. It was 2:35 and the second time I tried calling Y/N with no answer. I tried to tell myself that she even said she would miss a few calls, but she hasn’t yet. A week away and we still made our 2:30 FaceTime calls.

Something still didn’t add up.

With an agitated groan, I stuffed my phone back into my pocket while I hummed a new tune to myself, the words rolling off my tongue with ease.

“You’re too good to be true, yeah I gotta go, gotta run You don’t want me the way I want you, no. You walked too close to the rails; I picked you up when you fell.”

As I walked into the record store, a loud bell sounded my presence, and a brunette lifted her head from the front desk to give me a small smile. “Hi, welcome in.”

Her eyes shined as her face twitched, the typical holy shit, I know that person's face that I always recognized when I went out in public.

“Hi,” I waved before walking over to the front desk, her eyes getting larger the closer I got. “How are you?”

“Go-good,” she stood straighter. “I’m sorry, I’m a little star-struck right now.”

I chuckled. “You’re fine. How long have you been a fan?”

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “For the last few months. I saw you guys play with Hollow Souls this last tour.”

My face twitched at the mention of Y/N’s band but kept my composure.

“You know, Y/N’s a huge inspiration for me. Just how she dealt with everything with Trey. It’s amazing how she overcame that relationship.”

I went stiff but slack at the same time. “How do you know about that?”

The girl shrugged. “It’s all over the internet. Reddit has some pretty insane stories about the breakup. Some say Trey was cheating with underage girls while some say she cheated on him but I don’t believe that. She’s not that kind of person.”

“Um,” I rubbed at my chin, desperate to change the subject. “Can you show me where your tuners are?”

She nodded and motioned for me to follow her to the back of the store. We spent the next few minutes talking about the different kinds they had, even though I was familiar with it all, but having a conversation with someone who didn’t judge me or my actions was nice. For the first time in a long time, Y/N was at the back of my mind.

“So,” I peered down at the nametag on her shirt. “Bailey.”

Her cheeks reddened as her lips curled up. “I’d never thought I’d hear Noah Sebastian say my name.”

I chuckled, enjoying how easy it was to talk to her. “What’s your favorite song of ours?”

“It’s not a song but more so a verse off your self-entitled album; My pretty little face with all the right parts. My pretty little face I couldn’t keep from the dark, I learned from the best as my sorrows grew. And then they pulled me out after I introduced them to you.”

“You liked that?,” I asked, almost astonished.

Bailey smiled as she stared up at me, a soft expression on her face.“Yeah, it was deep, like you said you’re perfect on the surface but deep inside you’re flawed, like anyone else. But didn’t notice until the person who hurt you pulled them out.”

When my eyes widened, she quickly stammered over her words.“I’m sorry if that was a wrong assumption, it’s just how I saw it.”

“No, no,” I spoke quickly while running a hand through my hair. “That’s-that’s pretty close. I’m glad it has meaning to you, in that way. That’s special.”

“A lot of your lyrics make me feel that way,” she admitted sheepishly.

“Well, I hope the next record does the same.”

Bailey's brows raised to her hairline. “You’re already working on the next one?”

“Most of it is in the early stages. We’re about to release our first single tomorrow night; octane at eight. Make sure you’re ready.”

“There’s no such thing as ready,” she says. “There’s only willing.”

My jaw went slack for a few seconds until I let out a low cough to make my feelings. Her words had a different meaning than what I was thinking but it still sat deep low in my stomach; the comment kept replaying in my mind.

“What are you doing later?” I blurted before I could stop myself.

“Later?” Bailey raised a brow.

“Yeah, maybe grab some food and talk?”

“I don’t know,” she shifted on her feet to tuck another piece of hair behind her ear.

It was a simple action that reminded me of Y/N. Except it was something that made my heart flutter when she did it. With Bailey, nothing. My heart rate was slow, almost even, and there were none of those butterflies there.

“Are you- are you sure?”

Bailey’s voice brought me away from thoughts of Y/N and how she didn’t answer my call or any of the texts I sent her earlier.

I shrugged. “Well, I asked you, didn’t I?”

NOAH

Walking through the front door, guilt weighed down my heart. Jolly and Jesse were sitting on the couch watching a movie and they raised brows at me.

“You’re back late,” Jolly noted.

“Yeah, I uh- I went out with a girl tonight.” I stopped at the first step, hand gripping the railing.

“I’m sorry?” Jesse nearly dropped the bowl of popcorn. “Who?”

I sighed while turning more towards them while on the stairs. “The cashier at the record shop was nice, and we hung out. We went to Applebee’s and went half and half on an appetizer.”

“Wait- what about Y/N?” Jolly asked.

I snickered, eyes narrowing. “Y/N won’t mind, trust me.”

Anger still pooled low in my stomach because before walking into the house, I sent another text to Y/N to ask how everything was going.

Nothing.

Silence.

Kept me on read.

Message loud and fucking clear, angel.

“Noah, do you not remember what we discussed in the kitchen this morning?” Jolly said, raising his voice a bit, unusual for him. “What the hell, dude?”

Jesse tossed a handful of popcorn in his mouth. “You can’t tell a girl you’ll wait for her then go out with someone else.”

“It’s nothing serious,” I scratched my face. “I hung out with this girl. That’s all.”

“Noah-,” Jolly started.

I motioned upstairs, ready to change the subject. “Hey, Chase and Malcolm want to play Fallout. Are you in?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he sighed.

MALCOLM

“Hey, sweets. How are you feeling?” Chase asked into the phone that lay between us on our bed.

“I’m alright,” Y/N’s tired voice came through the speaker. “I spent the entire day sleeping. My dad had a full day planned for our last day together but I couldn’t get out of bed. I feel like shit.”

I gave a small smile even though she couldn’t see. “He understands, Y/N. Your dad isn’t going to be upset.”

There was a long beat of silence. “Before he dropped me off at the airport, we had a heart-to-heart today. About everything, about Noah.”

I shared a look with Chase. “What about Noah?”

“I’m ready, guys. Noah’s been so patient with waiting for me to go through these feelings and trauma. I thought being with him would deter me from healing but he’s actually what I need to heal.”

“You sure, buttercup? Don’t take this the wrong way, we’re happy that you’re finally at a good place mentally and that you want to jump into this with Noah. But we want to make sure that you’re sure.”

“It’s Noah,” there wasn’t a hint of hesitation in her voice. “I’d never been more sure about anything like this before.”

Chase smiled a little as we linked our hands together. Both of us were so proud of how far Y/N came within the last few months. When she first moved in with us, there was a dark point in all our lives we didn’t know if she would make it past the pain of what she did to Noah; even though it wasn’t completely her fault.

“We’re proud of you, Y/N,” Chase said.

“I love you guys. I feel like I don’t say that enough. Every single bad thing in my life, the two of you have been by my side.”

We could hear the tears in her voice.

“We love you too, sweets.”

We chatted for a few more minutes, making plans for when she returned to the States before her flight home was called. We weren’t able to pick her up when her flight landed so we dropped her car off earlier at the airport so she could drive herself back.

As soon as we hung up, a noise came from my computer, an invitation on Twitch.

“You sure you don’t want to play with us?” I asked Chase while I set up at my desk.

Chase nodded. “I’m fine with watching you play.”

“What’s up, fuckers,” I snorted into my microphone as I loaded up into the game with Noah.

Jolly was there as well but only Noah was listening to me.

“Hey guys.”

I glanced over to Chase when we heard the somber voice of Noah.

“What’s wrong with you, Sebastian?” Chase asked.

“It’s been a long day,” he sighed.

For the next half hour, I played with Noah and Jolly, with Chase watching, and we all joked about random shit but Noah was quiet for most of the time. Something was off with him and as the last match ended, I was ready to get off the game until Noah’s words gave us pause.

“I went out on a date tonight.”

Chase stiffened next to me as I fell back to my chair with my heart-stopping. “I know I’m colorblind but I’m not deaf. What did you just say?”

“No, you’re not,” Chase playfully smacked my chest.

Noah let out a deep breath. “I’m seeing somebody- I can’t, I - she doesn’t want me how I want her.”

Although he never said her name, we knew exactly who he was walking about.

“That’s not true, Noah, you know it’s not. She does. She’s just-.” I said.

“Look, please don’t start this shit right now. I just need to attempt to move on, at least.”

I quickly put my microphone on my mute and then turned my chair towards Chase.

“What the fuck?” I said with an exasperated breath.

“I don’t understand, this isn’t making sense,” He ran a hand over his buzzed head, something he always did when something bothered him. “Should we tell him about her dad and the song?”

“No, 'cause she’ll be pissed.”

“You don’t think she’ll be more mad now? Noah went on a fucking date tonight,” Chase seethed.

I pushed my auburn curls away from my face. “Man, I don’t know. It almost feels like it’s not our place to get involved but it’s-.”

“Y/N,” Chase finished my sentence.

“We need to give her a heads up, just end this tension bullshit. They have to talk,” I sighed.

“She can’t get upset,” Noah’s voice brought us back to the conversation, and I unmuted my microphone.

“Who can’t get upset?” I asked.

“Y/N, she can’t get upset. She ignored me all day after that post on Instagram.”

Chase scoffed. “What the fuck, dude. What does that have to do with you going on a date?”

“I tried to call her, it was 2:30! No answer.”

The way that Noah was speaking clarified that there were underlying feelings behind his actions but of course, wouldn’t tell anyone about it.

“You want to fucking know why she didn’t call you?” Chase sat forward, elbows on his knees and veins in his neck twitching. “News flash, Noah, the world just doesn’t stop when you don’t get attention.”

“Excuse me?”

I could see the darkness take over Chase’s usual bright eyes and knew what he was about to say. I shook my head. “Chase no, it’s not-.”

“No, fuck this soap opera shit. Y/N passed out at 2:30, she has been all fucking day. She was in pain you, idiot.”

A long beat of silence. “What do you mean?”

“Chase-,” I tried again.

This wasn't our business to tell. This should have been something Y/N and Noah talked about privately.

Chase ignored me as his knee bounced with anger. “No, I’m tired of this nonsense. Y/N has endometriosis you ass!”

More silence, only this time you could hear the background noise coming from Noah’s mic clear as day; voices.

“Wait-she told me she deals with something that takes a lot out of her every month. That’s it?”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Stage Three. It’s a disease in which tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside of the uterus. Every month when she has her period, the pain is worse than normal because of this. Hence today all she did was sleep. She wasn’t ignoring you, Noah. She was just asleep.”

“It's serious. She’s been dealing with this for years and she’ll continue to deal with it for the rest of her life,” Chase said.

“If it wasn’t for the surgery, it could have been worse,” I informed next.

“Wait, what surgery? When?,” Noah asked with pure confusion in his voice.

Chase bit the inside of his cheek. “It was a few years ago before Hollow Souls took off. It’s called a laparoscopy.”

“She had a what? I don’t know what the fuck that is?”

I repeated the word for Noah but his agitation was clear in his next words.

“A lapara-parascopy”

“Bro, sound it out, lapar-o-scopy,” Chase gave a light chuckle, given how tense the conversation got.

“Yeah still don’t know what the fuck that is, is she alright? Is she-.”

Chase and I shared a look, knowing there’s a lot more we can go on about this but also knowing that we’ve said all we could say.

“Like Malcolm said, Endometriosis comes with pain and inflammation, and she can pass out from the pain. Y/N gets sick a lot-you have to do your own research on this, Noah. But you also need to know, it’s not all about you,” Chase said with a shake of his head.

“Why can’t she just tell me that?”

“She wants to, trust us. We know-.”

Noah’s voice cut me off. “I know you know her, but you don’t know what feelings she has. I can’t keep falling for this every time.”

“Noah. come on you’re so stubborn! What happened to waiting?” I shot back with an edge to my voice.

I rarely ever lost my patience but right now with how stubborn Noah was being, I couldn’t help but scoff.

“Never said I wasn’t, but I need to move forward too until she speaks to me herself about this. What else can I do?”

“Noah, she loves you, man. She fucking loves you.”

“If that’s true she would tell me, Malcolm, this shit fucking hurts enough. I’ve got to go, I’ll talk to you guys later.”

Before we could even say goodbye, Noah exited our chat that we used to play video games, leaving just the buzz of dead air playing back on my speakers.

NOAH

Stage 3 of endometriosis is considered moderate.

Endometriosis itself is not a fatal condition. However, experts associate endometriosis with some potentially life-threatening conditions, such as ectopic pregnancy and depression.

There are two types of endometriosis surgery: excision and ablation. Both are laparoscopic, meaning the surgeon makes tiny holes in the patient’s skin and can enter through those holes to perform the surgery, rather than needing to make large incisions. Ablation uses heat to destroy tissue, while excision uses heat to remove it. Ablation can only remove tissue on the surface, while excision can dig deeper to remove all of it.

“Oh Angel baby,” I sighed while dropping my pen on the piece of paper I’d been writing on for the last thirty minutes.

With both hands dragging down my face, I let out another deep sigh before scrolling through another article.

The most common symptom of endometriosis is pelvic and lower back pain, especially during the menstrual period. Rather than the cramping that many women experience during their periods, women with endometriosis often experience severe pain that can be difficult to manage. Other symptoms include pain during intercourse, pain with urination or bowel movements, heavy bleeding during periods, bleeding between periods, fatigue, and infertility.

A small gasp left my lips when I remembered back to that night we shared. The pained expression as I hovered over her until we switched positions then the blood on the condom.

Fuck, infertility. That’s why she freaked when I mentioned a family.

Deciding I had enough research for one night, I called out for Jolly and Jesse.

“Everything alright?” Jesse asked a moment later, followed by Jolly.

The two of them sat on the edge of my bed while I continued to sit on my computer chair, slowly rocking back and forth.

“I-um-I just found out something about Y/N. Might explain why she left that night,” I said while handing them the notepad of paper that I was using for my notes.

Both of them read through it, Jesse sucking in a breath while Jolly let his shoulders fall and took a deep breath.

“Shit,” Jesse said.

Jolly, however, gave me a look. One I knew all too well.

“You fucking knew,” I accused while leaning forward in my chair.

“Not what she was going through. Nick wanted to tell me but-.”

“Wait,” I shook my head in disbelief. “Nick knew?”

I didn’t give Jolly time to explain because I quickly dialed Nick’s number and put the call on speaker while it rang.

“Yellow?” Nick answered on the third ring.

I rolled my eyes. “First of all, don’t answer the phone like that. You know I hate it.”

“Exactly why I do it. What's up?”

“You knew, I fucking know you knew,” I seethed.

There was a very long moment of silence from Nick’s end before a tired breath sounded. “Noah-.”

“No! Why did you fucking help them lie to me? You had me believing I did some shit for months! You all knew what her issue was and you just let me sit here in the dark over it?”

I rose from my chair and paced my room as the anger intensified. For months, they made me think I was the problem; it was my fault that Y/N walked away.

“It wasn’t our place to bring it up, Noah,” Jolly said.

“Y/N should have just been honest upfront about it,” Nick spoke next.

“Clearly she was scared! Read this shit!,” I pointed to the notepad. “She goes through that every month. And not one of you told me. I could have faced her anger later. Fuck, man.”

A shaky breath fell from my lips as I ran a hand over my chin, trying to control the way my heart raced and pulse quickened.

“It’s not too late, Noah,” Jesse reminded me.

“It is because I certainly don’t know how she feels; not now,” I said reminding them about the Instagram post this morning.

Jolly pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “Not this again. It was a post, Noah!”

“Whatever, I’m not dealing with this right now, just know I fucking know you knew and it’s irritating,” I told Nick on the phone.

“But now that you know, does it change how you feel?”

As I opened my mouth to answer, the phone buzzed in my hand and my heart rate now doubled, thinking it was Y/N.

Unknown: had an awesome time with you! 💕 so glad we’re trying this.

Fuck.

My heart sank to the depths of my insides realizing that the text message wasn’t from Y/N.

“It doesn’t matter now,” I answered Nick’s question with a defeated sigh.

CHASE

Malcolm paced the entire length of our bedroom with his hands on his hips. His auburn hair fell around his shoulders in curly waves and if it was any other situation, I would marvel at how gorgeous he looked.

“Mal, you need to calm down. You’re going to burn a hole in the floor,” I tried to reach for his hand but he sped past me.

His emerald eyes burned. “He’s dating someone. Can you believe that? After all that bullshit about waiting for her. The second she’s ready, he moves on?”

“We don’t know that they’re dating. Noah said they went out on one date, it doesn’t mean anything.”

Malcolm sighed before falling onto the bed next to me. It was nearing eight in the evening. Y/N’s flight would land any minute and we were patiently waiting for her to return home.

“Are we going to listen to their song?” Malcolm asked.

I rubbed his knee. “They’re still our friends, Mal. We need to support them.”

Eventually, he nodded before resting his hand over mine. “We need to warn, Y/N. I don’t want her to be blindsided by this news or find out about it from someone else.”

I agreed and pulled out my phone, quickly typing a message out to Y/N.

Chase: sweets, we need to talk to you. Call us when you can.

Sweets: I have pretty shitty service where I’m at. What’s up?

Malcolm and I shared a look, neither of us wanting to tell her over text but knew that it would be better if she found out from one of us. The words almost burned on my fingers as I typed them.

Chase: Noah went out on a date. He’s seeing someone.

Read 9:30 pm.

Chase: sweets??

Read 9:43 pm.

After almost twenty-five minutes with no response from Y/N, I tried calling her twice which only went straight to voicemail. Malcolm pulled out his phone so he could pull up her location. The three of us always shared our location, in cases of times like this.

“Fuck,” he cursed.

“What?” I asked, heart pounding hard against my chest as I peered over his shoulder to look at his phone.

Immediately, we recognized where Y/N was; her avatar on the map unmoving and staying in the same spot for the last half an hour.

Chase: Y/N, please let me know you’re okay.

“What do you think she’s doing there?” I asked.

Malcolm rested his head in his hands. “I don’t know, babe. But whatever the reason, shit’s changed now. It can’t be good.”

We sat in silence for another long few minutes, my hand rubbing soothing circles on Malcolm’s back in a way to keep him calm. I was about ready to text Jolly when Malcolm’s phone rang.

“Buttercup, where are you?” He rushed out once he saw the caller ID.

There was silence on the other end until a broken, destroyed voice sobbed into the phone.

“I fucked up, guys.”

[ilovesjamesbb]

Please Don't Leave Me (Pt. 2)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

(Part 1) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

Warnings: Mature themes, depression, sadness, angst, fluff

Bucky woke up facing the wall. He didn't even have to open his eyes to know that if he turned around you wouldn't be there. He couldn't smell your perfume or hear your soft breath. He internally grimaced. So it would be like old times. They would pretend like nothing happened. 

He rolled over staring at the ceiling, images flashing of last nights events. Please don't leave me. Over and over in his brain. He bunched his fists and rubbed his face. 

Over in y/n's room she was doing the same thing. Staring at the ceiling wondering why she was so pathetic. She had totally freaked him out. What am I doing?

She sat up and pulled at her hair.

"Fuck" Today was going to be awkward. After her realization last night she wanted to die. 

"What am I even doing?" She threw the covers off and stood up when she heard a knock. She froze. I can't do this right now.

Someone knocked again. 

“Y/n, are you coming to train? I thought I was supposed to meet you down there.” Steve said. Oh thank god. 

“Yes. I’m sorry I overslept, give me five minutes, I’ll meet you down there.” You winced. 

“Sounds like a plan.” He laughed. 

You threw her clothes on and looked at yourself in the mirror. You looked rough. Eyes were a little swollen and blotchy, lines from the crinkled sheets were left on your forehead and cheek. 

“Just go train and come back. You won’t see him. He definitely doesn’t wanna see you-” Another knock sounded on the door. It had only been two minutes. Steve needed to chill.

“Doll.” Again, you froze. You held your breath and hoped the person on the other side wouldn't know you were there. 

“I know you’re in there. We need to talk.” Bucky said, he seemed exhausted. You closed your eyes and said nothing. 

“Don’t make me break down this door. Tony is gonna bitch at me if he has to fix another one” His joke was laced with a serious tone. You contemplated it and before you knew what you were doing you whipped open the door. He looked shocked. He opened his mouth to speak but you beat him to it. 

“Stop. I don’t need your help. I’m sorry if I inconvenienced you last night but I promise it won’t happen again. Let’s pretend this never happened and we can go our separate ways.” You said cold and detached. 

“Y/n I can’t do tha-”

“I can’t do this.” 

“Do what?” You knew what he meant. He was asking if this meant talk or us. You both just stared at each other.

“Steve’s waiting for me.” You brushed past him and walked down the hall. As soon as you made it past him your facade broke. 

You sparred with Steve and he certainly didn’t go easy on you. Bruises littered your body from head to toe. A cut sliced through your eyebrow. You needed it though. You needed to feel strong. Taking on the super soldier was therapeutic. You knew you couldn’t beat him but you could hold your own. You headed to the kitchen grabbing the pitcher of orange juice and sat on the counter. Minding your own you just drank and swished it around your mouth. No thoughts plaguing your mind. Then Bucky walked in. He didn’t even look your way. He walked straight past, opening the fridge. You watched him waiting for him to pester you but it never came. 

He went to walk out of the kitchen and you thought you were in the clear until he stopped at the edge of the island. For some reason you wanted him to speak, you wanted him to tell you that it was okay. That you were going to be okay and whisper the sweet nothings you couldn't stop thinking about. You needed to feel his breath on your hair and the hum of his chest. 

You knew he was about to walk away. 

“Don’t.” you said and he turned his head the slightest bit just so you could make out the outline of his lips.  He waited for you to say more. 

“Don’t what?” Still not turning around. You sucked in the remaining air in the room and put down the pitcher. 

“Don’t leave me.” you whispered. You knew he could hear it when he turned around completely. 

“Please. Please don’t leave me.” Your eyes started to glaze over. Your voice cracking. He made long strides over to you and gathered you in his arms, standing between your legs. 

“Doll, I would never. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.” He mumbled into your hair as he leld the back of your head. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean what I said. Please, forgive me. I know you’re only trying to help me. I was awf-”

“Y/n stop. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He pulled apart placing his hands on your shoulders. Your went to argue and he stopped you.

“I mean it. I’ll never leave you. Nothing you could do or say would make me leave you.” He put his metal fingers through his hair, raking it back. 

“God, y/n, don’t you see what you do to me. I physically can’t leave you. Every part of me belongs to you. My body is your body. Your mind is my mind. You are seared into my soul. If you leave me I think everything I have, everything I am would break.” His breath was ragged now. His chest falling and rising quickly. He stood only a few feet from you. 

“James.” 

“I’m sorry I had to tell you. Actually I’m not sorry-”

“Kiss me.” He froze. 

“James, kiss me.” He didn’t waste another second. He grabbed your face and crashed his lips on to your own. You wrapped your arms around him and hooked your legs around his waist. His hands found your neck and the other grabbed under your thigh pulling you closer. You grabbed the hair on the back of his neck and rested your forehead against his. Tears pricked in your eyes. 

“Tell me this is forever. Tell me you feel the same way. Tell me you need me like I need you.” He spoke softly. 

“I don’t” You looked him in the eyes. His face crumbled. You grabbed his chin.

“I need you so much more. I need you so much that I can’t breathe. I need you so much that when we are apart my heart physically hurts. I can’t think. I can’t eat.  I need you more than I need water. I need you so much that…” You trail off. It’s his turn to grab your hands on his face. 

“So much that what?” He urges you to go on.

“So much that I break down” You let a tear slip down your cheek. A look of anguish crosses his face. 

“You will never have to feel like that again. Doll, you scared me last night. I hated seeing you like that. In that moment I knew I would hurt anyone who dared hurt you. I would fight every monster in your dreams. I would kill for you” You knew that he wasn't lying. 

“So I beg you y/n. Please, god, please. Please don't leave me” 

Let me know what you think! This is my first time writing. Should I turn this into a series and add everything that led up to this?

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Under His Protection

Pairing: Andrew!Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1k

Warnings: angst, stopping a potential rape, getting slapped, minor fluff at the end

Summary: Your good heart won't let you walk by something when you know something is wrong. That usually means trouble for you, but you can always count on Peter to swoop in and save the day.

Squares Filled: villain/hero for @spider-man-bingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Shit, you’re going to be so late. Thank God you live right behind the school for this exact reason. Your backyard is right by the school’s football field so you cut across it every single morning and afternoon. Due to being so close, you can sleep in longer than everyone else.

This time, you might have overslept.

You jump over the fence and walk across the empty football field quickly. You think it’s empty until you hear someone over by the bleachers. You walk a bit closer and see it’s one of the most popular jocks, Jake Staton. He’s honestly one of the best players this school has seen in a few years but all you’ve heard is horror stories about him.

He’s arrogant, a terrible lover, and at times, abusive. He thinks so highly of himself and doesn’t treat women right. Ask any one of his ex-girlfriends.

The girl he’s with says something you mistake for a moan but the closer you get, the more you realize she is protesting against Jake.

“No, stop. Get off me,” she begs.

“You know you want it, baby. Don’t fight it,” he smirks and kisses her neck.

“Seriously, stop. I mean it.”

You could keep walking and ignore what you saw but that’s not who you are. You have a reputation for sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.

“Hey, dickwad,” Jake steps back from the girl to glare at you. The girl pushes him off her but he doesn’t move much. “She said no.”

“Fuck off.”

You step closer and put a hand on his shoulder to yank him away from her.

“She said no. You’re the one who should fuck off.”

Suddenly, you feel a stinging sensation on your cheek. You fall to the ground from the impact and stare at Jake in shock. He backhanded you with the hand that has rings on it. The girl sees this chance to run away from him, and he scoffs at not getting some before school. He steps closer to you but you don’t do the smart thing and back away. You’re not going to show him any weakness.

“Get in my way again and it won’t be your face I’m slapping next.”

Once he is gone, you take your hand away from your cheek to see it bleeding. God, this shit hurts. You can’t go to class with a bleeding cheek so you push yourself to your feet and head to the nurse’s office.

“Come on in, honey,” she says when she sees you standing in the doorway. When she sees your cheek, she gasps. “What happened?”

“I tripped and fell.”

She knows you’re lying but she doesn’t press on if it’s going to make you uncomfortable. You sit down on the examination table and allow her to look at you. She takes care of the bleeding which isn’t from a big cut so it’s easily manageable with a bandaid. The only thing that will be prominent is the bruise already starting to form. She grabs an ice pack from the freezer and places it over your cheek.

“Thanks,” you wince and keep it there.

“Stay here. I’m going to grab something to help with the pain.’’

“Okay.”

You’re sitting there for not even five minutes when Peter Parker walks by the nurse’s office. He makes eye contact and keeps walking but stops suddenly when his brain registrars that it’s you. He rushes into the office with an angry look on his face.

“What the fuck, Y/N?” he cusses quietly. You try to keep him away from you but there is no use. He takes off the ice pack to see the darkening bruise underneath. “Who did this to you?”

When he sees your bruise, you can tell a piece of his heart broke through the look in his eyes.

“I’m fine, Peter. It’s nothing,” you sigh.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

You forgot how overprotective he was when you two were dating. He was the perfect boyfriend to you. He’d treat you like you were the only woman in the world, he brought you flowers every time the old ones died, he made you feel safe and loved. You were and still are in love with him.

He was the one who broke up with you. You went to his house for a study session when he dropped the bomb on you. You were heartbroken. Why did he do it? You two were going really good save for a few secrets you knew he was keeping from you.

That’s why he ended things with you. He hasn’t told you that he’s Spider-Man and it was becoming a hindrance keeping that secret from you. He loved you too much to bring you into his mess so he had to end things with you before you got hurt because of him. It hurts him to keep you at such a distance knowing how much he loves you.

“Jake Staton,” you sigh. Keeping it from him is pointless. He would have gotten the answer one way or another. “He was going to rape this girl and I had to stop it. I couldn’t do nothing.”

He loves how caring you are about other people, even people you don’t know. He places the ice pack back on your face and you hold it there so it doesn’t fall. He doesn’t say another word and leaves the nurse’s office.

He doesn’t have to say anything for you to know where he’s going. After the nurse gave you some medicine for the pain, a touch up of your makeup, and one of Peter’s baseball caps that you stole, you were ready for school. You kept your head down for the first half of school so that you didn't have to talk to anyone.

By lunch, you are sitting with your best friends who already know what happened. You’re checking out of the conversation since you don’t feel like talking to anyone when you notice Jake on the far side of the cafeteria. He’s sporting his own bruise on his face with a swollen eye and busted lip.

Your eyes immediately go to Peter who is sitting with Harry and Gwen. He grins when he sees you and winks at you to let you know even if you’re broken up, he still will always protect you. You know you shouldn’t feel this way but your heart skips a beat and your stomach does summersaults at his attention.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[mirisss]

Ampers&One as Idol boyfriends

Ampers&One and how they would act as a boyfriend while also being an idol!

Thank you for this lovely request 🦋! I love writing for the ampies! I hope you enjoy what I have written. I feel like some of these turned out great and others not so good. 

Warnings: None I think, except for the fact that I keep switching between POVs because I wrote these on different days and forgot which POV I started with, so sorry for that. 

Wordcount ≈ 1.8k

Na Kamden

Kamden knows that he has a large fanbase, one that can be quite crazy for him. Sometimes he worries that the fan service he does on stage would put his partner off, or make them question their relationship. Kamden might love his fans but he loves no one more than you. So, one day, he came up with a gesture that he could do on stage, one that would seem like fan service but is actually for you. 

“Hey love,” “Good morning, Kamden,” “I have to leave in a few minutes, I already overslept, but I just had to stay in bed with you,” “Hey, you should hurry, you know the company only agreed to me staying at the dorm sometimes if you were always on time,” Kamden hurriedly left the bed and got dressed, he rushed around the room, once he was finally ready, he was about to leave the room but he stopped by the door, turned around and blew you a kiss. “That is always for you,” You didn’t understand it at the moment but later that day when watching their performance for a music show, you saw him blowing a kiss to the fans, or well, one specific fan. You. 

When Kamden and the boys returned to the dorm, Kamden immediately went to his room, finding you in his bed, in one of his hoodies, asleep. He bent down, leaving a light kiss on your forehead. “I love you,” Even in your sleep, your body recognized the words and Kamden could see a sleepy smile light up your face. His heart warmed, you truly were the love of his life. 

He Brian

Brian is a puppy through and through. His whole face will light up anytime he sees his partner at the company building or at a concert, or anywhere really. He is most likely to fuck up and accidentally say “My girlfriend/boyfriend/partner is so cute” or “Yeah (Y/n) just made this incredible food for me because they love me” during a live or during an interview. Either way, he will probably out your relationship within a week or two. But he looks cute while doing it so it’s fine, well, kind of. Most fans will think Brian and his partner look really cute together and support them, the company isn’t as happy with the public relationship but they’ll accept it eventually. 

The fans will take any chance they get to talk with Brian’s partner if they see them at a concert or out in public. Gushing about how cute Brian and they are together. During behind-the-scenes shoots, there will always be a couple of seconds where you can see Brian running up to his partner and hugging them, or kissing them, or just bopping their nose. These moments often go viral with the captions “Best boyfriend ever” “Don’t know who I am most jealous of, Brian or (Y/n)” or something like it.  

Choi Jiho 

Jiho, just like most of the others, is a golden retriever boyfriend. Some of his most cherished moments are when he comes home after a long day of being a leader, and he can crawl into the arms of his partner, lying on the couch, a movie playing in the background, he can just relax, breathe in the safe and familiar scent of his beloved. He doesn’t have to be in charge of other people, he can just enjoy the moment. Jiho loves it when his partner comes with lunch to the company when he has long days of practice and recording. Just five minutes with his partner gives him more energy to continue no matter how tired he is.  

He will practice his fan-service on his partner, so when his partner comes by to watch him practice he will dance in front of them and send winks, kisses, smirks, or whatever their way and then ask if it looked good, was a good place in the song for it, and other feedbacks that his partner had for him. Whenever he does these things on stage, he will think of his partner and his partner will feel butterflies in their stomach even when just watching a fancam. 

Yoon Siyun 

Siyun is sort of black-catish when it comes to pda, for him, he really separates his work life and his personal life, or well as much as he can. Of course, he enjoys his partner coming to visit him during dance practices or whatnot, but he would never do anything that could risk exposing the relationship. When he is on stage he is not Yoon Siyun, boyfriend of (Y/n), no then he is Yoon Siyun of Ampers&one. After work though, he is a golden retriever. When he comes home after a long day of working or practicing he will run to his partner and snuggle up with them on the couch or in bed, talking about everything they had done that day or just enjoy the presence of each other. 

The one time, Siyun will act out of character when working is when they have a concert, he steps out on the stage, looking out at the crowd, happy to see so many fans, but then his eyes find a very familiar face in the front row. His partner standing there, cheering louder than anyone else. During the concert he will send kisses and hearts in the direction of his partner, he can’t help it, he’s so happy to see them there. No one else notices just how much attention he is giving to one particular section of the crowd, so for once, it is safe for him to give a little extra love to his partner even though it is in public. 

Choi Kyrell 

Kyrell would be the most golden retriever boyfriend to ever exist. This boy is so in love with you that he dies a little bit inside every minute that he is apart from you. He has tried to convince the company that you’re like his emotional support animal but instead of an animal, you’re his emotional support partner. 

Kyrell will be glued to your side, whenever he can he will be holding your hand, kissing your cheeks, your lips, your neck, he will hug you from behind or give you normal hugs, he will touch you any way he can. 

He especially loves the days when you can visit him at the company, you bring him lunch and then stay and watch their practice for the rest of the day. Kyrell runs to the door when he sees you open it, he envelops you in a tight hug, almost lifting you off the floor, the largest smile known to man plastered on his lips. 

You sit in the corner of the practice room and whenever he has a second to spare he waves to you or runs over to give you a quick kiss, he pouts whenever you leave the room to go get more water or a bathroom break because he misses you. 

Mercer Mackiah

Mackiah is sort of a golden retriever but like times 11 in energy. He will use up all your energy in a second. Getting this man to chill for 5 minutes is a struggle. If he has a free night and the two of you decide to watch a movie while cuddling on the couch, it is fine for like 2 minutes, after that, chaos breaks out. Mackiah will slowly move his arms down to your sides and begin tickling you, if that doesn’t work to break your attention from the movie, he will blow air into your ear, lightly pull your hair, anything to get you to look at him. 

As an idol boyfriend, he finds it hard not to be able to do everything a normal couple would, however, he does his absolute best to make up for it with your alone time and home dates. On stage he will try to wink and give hearts and kisses, some are for the fans but most are for you. In the practice room, he loves asking you to come keep him company when he has solo practices. Most of the time, he just dances a little with you, or you two sit on the floor, cuddling in a back hug position, just talking about life as he watches the two of you through the mirrors. He will hum the new songs for you, and sometimes when he feels playful, which is often, he will make freestyle raps dedicated to you. 

He might not be able to show you off to the world like he would want to, but that doesn’t mean that he loves you any less. 

Kim Seungmo

Seungmo is somewhat of a wild card, he’s definitely golden-retreiver coded yet he’s also like a black cat at times. He’d never be cold to his partner, but sometimes he would rather just be in the same room as his partner but without physical contact or conversations. Other times though, he would be all over his partner. 

Seungmo is a hard worker, he’d do anything he can to show his partner that he loves them. Whether it be learning a new language, learning how to cook their favorite meal, teaching them a dance or anything really, he would do it. Days when his partner watches their dance practices, Seungmo will find his partner's eyes in the mirror and wink at them throughout practice, or rather he would do it right before practice begins, after that his focus is fully on Kamden or the choreographer. Once practice is over, he will walk over to his partner and collapse in their arms, happy to see how proud his partner is as they look at him. 

The few times he has a day off, he spends it trying to cook for his partner. Key word, trying. He might not be the best cook but he’s not the worst either. “Okay, sit down, here, and close your eyes, don’t open them until I say you can,” Seungmo directed his partner to the dinner table, he seemed as excited as a puppy with a new toy. He ran over to the kitchen, got the two plates he had prepared, and returned to the table where his partner was sitting with their eyes closed, as promised. He put the plates down, hoping that his partner would enjoy the meal. “Okay, you can open your eyes,” His partner smiled as wide as possible, not because of the food in front of them but because Seungmo’s smile was just contagious. 

[noonaishere]

Music of the Heart [J.YH] - fifty-two | D-Day

D-Day.

Or… R-Day? Or maybe Y-Day, since today was the first day of recording and having to work with Yunho and actually talk to him.

Whatever, it didn’t matter. You were just glad that he said he would try to stay away when you saw him before the meeting yesterday.

The elevator door opened and you went to get on. He was already inside, along with someone else you presumed was his manager. You sighed and got in. The button for your floor was already pressed so you didn’t have to do anything.

The other person got out on an earlier floor, you guessed they weren’t his manager after all, not that you were going to ask. You and he were alone again.

You’d have to start leaving your apartment five minutes earlier.

“Umm…” he started.

“What do you want, Jeong?”

He seemed taken aback. “I wanted to apologize for having to record.”

“Okay.”

He waited for a few seconds. “I know this must be uncomfortable for you.”

“It is.”

He nodded slowly. “Umm… yeah.”

You kept your eyes on the buttons.

“I’ll try not to bother you as much as I can.” He nodded again.

“Good,” you nodded.

You spent the rest of the journey in silence and the doors opened. Both of you walked out and he walked in front of you and opened the door for you. What the fuck.

You nodded a singular nod of thanks and walked in. You put your stuff away and got your notebook and everything ready for recording.

Yunho put his stuff on the table and checked his phone. Hongoong watched him carefully out of the corner of his eye before turning to you and patting the chair next to him.

“Sit here.”

You sat. It didn’t escape you that he had put himself in between you and Yunho by telling you to sit where he did, a wall that allowed you some leeway from having to interact with him.

He smiled and gave you a nod. “You okay?” He asked quietly.

You mustered a half smile and nodded back. You were.

The wounds Yunho caused all those years ago had been deep. But after your recent hiccup of relapsing into something like the depression you felt years ago, you came to a conclusion: you had more than realized your dream of working in music. Sure you were already in your mid-20s and you had just started - when you had wanted to start right out of high school - but you were still young in the grand scheme of things. You had the support of Hongjoong, Maddox, and Wonderland, so you potentially had a long career ahead of you. At the very least, Yunho hadn’t fully taken that away from you, only delayed it. And even though he was sitting at the table of a recording studio with you, it was your turf.

At least he had already decided that you’re in charge.

Hongjoong smiled reassuringly at you and directed his attention over to Yunho

“Where’s your manager?”

“I’m sorry,” Yunho apologized, “He’s a little late.”

Hongjoong nodded. “Don’t managers usually pick their talent up?”

“I told him I could get myself here and he, um… might have overslept because neither of us are used to me having work.”

Hongjoong nodded again with a sigh. “In the future let’s have him pick you up so you’ll both be on time.”

Yunho nodded.

The door opened and Maddox walked in. “Hello everyone, look who I found outside.”

Satbyeol followed Maddox in and waved gently upon entering. Behind her must have been her manager, and behind her were three more people. One was obviously Yunho’s manager as he hurriedly moved over to him and handed him some papers, and the other two were Doyun and his manager.

You and Hongjoong stood and greeted everyone.

“Hongjoong, t/n, this is Yunho’s manager Hwang Eun, Satbyeol’s manager Kim Hajoon, and Doyun’s manager Park Siwoo.” Maddox said.

“Everyone, this is the newest member of our team, t/l/n t/f/n, and you already know me and Maddox.” Hongjoong added.

You shook hands with and bowed to everyone, and sat back where Hongjoong had put you.

An hour of going over the lyrics and sheet music later, you were standing in the recording booth with Satbyeol.

“I haven’t recorded anything in a while so please bear with me.”

You smiled, she was so cool, even when apologizing. “You’re no problem. You have much more recording experience than anyone else here.”

She nodded as she put the headphones on. “Ow.”

“Did it pull your hair?”

“Yeah…” She pulled them away, some of her hair still caught on it.

“Don’t pull, don’t pull. I’ll fix it.”

You got to work pulling the strands out of where they had gotten caught. “The hinges on these headphones are weird. I can get you a different pair when I’m done freeing you.”

She chuckled. When you found out who she was at the meeting, you had wondered if her voice really did sound as husky and sexy as it did on TV. It turned out it really did.

Did you have a crush? You might.

“Thank you. At the very least, I need my hair to look nice on TV.”

You laughed softly. “I’ll try not to pull any out.”

A few minutes later you had freed her, removed the offending headphones and brought her a new pair.

“Try these on.”

She put them over her ears. “Much better. Thank you, kitten.”

You felt your face heat up and joined Hongjoong on the other side of the glass. Hongjoong raised a brow as you covered your face, trying to hide your expression. You turned away.

He pressed the button on the PA mic. “Okay, we can start when you’re ready.”

Her voice was even better than you remembered. She sang her part and brought such emotion to her lines, that it almost had you ready to cry.

“That was great. I see you haven’t lost your skills.”

“Thank you. I took lessons again in anticipation.”

“They paid off. You can leave the booth now.”

She nodded and took off the headphones, hanging them where the first pair had been hanging when you and she walked in. She walked out of the recording booth and joined all of you.

“Let’s listen to your takes…” Hongjoong pulled up the first one and played it.

After he had gone through them all, Satbyeol nodded. “They all sound good to me.”

“You’re happy with them?” He asked.

“Mhm.”

“Then you’re all done.”

“Can I stay and listen to the rest of the recording?”

“I don’t mind.” Hongjoong looked to you and Maddox.

“I don’t mind,” Maddox answered. You shook your head that you didn’t.

She smiled. “Thank you.”

She was so cool doing anything. How does someone do that? You couldn’t help but wonder if it was effortless or something that had to be practiced in the few moments you had before Hongjoong said:

“Doyun, it’s your turn.”

Maddox stood and helped him in the recording booth.

Satbyeol moved closer to you and whispered. “Mind if I sit here?”

“Oh no, go ahead.”

She smiled. “Is this the first project you’re helping to produce?”

“It is, actually.”

She nodded. “I haven’t been in a recording studio in so long. I’m surprised to find that I miss it.”

“Is that part of why you took the role?”

She winked. “It might be.”

Your eyes widened at that and you pretended to cough.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

When you looked back up Hongjoong’s mouth was twisted as he tried not to smile at your fake coughing.

Doyun’s recording session was a bit more difficult. He seemed to have a hard time understanding the instructions given to him, but rather than ask for clarification he pretended he understood, and when Hongjoong asked if he needed help, he brushed him off. You and Maddox looked at Hongjoong and then back at each other: he was doing a lot of sighing, clearly becoming frustrated, but unwilling to say anything.

Maddox stood and clapped his hands together. “Is anyone else in need of a break? We’ve been at this for two hours, why don’t we take a break?”

“I could use one,” you seconded as you raised your hand.

Hongjoong nodded with a sigh. “We’ll take a break?”

Satbyeol, Yunho, and their managers all nodded.

Hongjoong hit the PA button. “Doyun, everyone wants to take a break, so how about ten minutes?”

Surprised, Doyun nodded. “If you say so.”

“Come out.” Doyun’s manager added.

The two of them left the room, leaving the rest of you together.

Yunho looked to Satbyeol for a moment, she was looking at her phone.

“I… I feel like we should apologize for him,” he started.

“He’s his own man.” Satbyeol said without looking up. “He’s fully capable of making his own decisions.”

Hongjoong shook his head. “You don’t have to, Yunho. Like Satbyeol said, he’s his own man.”

“He’s also the male lead.” Satbyeol put her phone in her lap. “He’s routinely late and acts difficult with the director and wastes our time on set, why wouldn’t he do it here as well?”

“Satbyeol…” Hajoon started.

She raised an eyebrow at her.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be saying this… out loud.”

“You say that as if his behavior is some kind of secret, when he was just wasting our time.”

She sighed.

Yunho nodded. “He holds us up during filming too.”

Manager Eun cleared his throat at Yunho.

“Sorry,” he apologized.

“We were all thinking it,” Satbyeol reassured him, one finely sculpted brow raised.

“Maybe, but you’re a much bigger star than my client. We wouldn’t want Doyun to hear what he said and retaliate.”

Satbyeol hummed in thought for a moment. “I’m sorry for starting the conversation. I apologize. Let me know if Doyun starts anything, we’ll put him in his place.”

Yunho nodded awkwardly.

Hongjoong sighed. “I had heard he could be a little difficult, but I didn’t think he’d be like this.”

Maddox sighed as well. “We were all thinking he might be. It’s sort of a shame the rumors turned out to be true.”

You weren’t too up-to-date on the drama behind the scenes of Kdramas. You had never heard of these rumors before.

“Thank you for calling a break, by the way.” Hongjoong nodded to Maddox.

“No problem.” Maddox turned towards you. “Thank you for backing me up so quickly, t/n.”

You smiled. “What are friends for?”

Maddox smiled.

Yunho looked towards you and looked away.

The rest of you conversed comfortably as you waited for Doyun to come back, and after almost half an hour, it seemed like he wasn’t going to. Hongjoong looked at his watch, not doing well at hiding his annoyance at the hold up.

“Okay, we’re burning daylight. Yunho, would you like to record?”

“Now? Doyun isn’t back yet.”

“I’ll tell him it was my decision and he can just get mad at me. We want to get out of here at some point today.”

Yunho stepped into the recording booth and Maddox helped him.

“Have you ever recorded before?”

“No. But I was paying attention when Jongho recorded and when Satbyeol recorded, so I at least have that.”

He didn’t lie: he at least had that. Yunho took directions much better than Doyun did, you could admit that. And it was a welcome change for Hongjoong and Maddox, as Yunho actually asked when he was unsure about something.

“Go ahead,” Hongjoong said.

As Yunho went to sing, Doyun walked back in.

“What’s this? I thought it was my turn to record!”

“Was recording happening out in the hall? We were all in here,” Satbyeol said, and Hajoon nudged her. She smiled at her but stayed quiet.

“It was,” Hongjoong said coolly to Doyun. “But since your ten minute break turned into forty-five minutes, we had to continue without you.”

“Well I’m back now.”

“And you’re not in the recording booth.” Hongjoong swiveled around and hit the PA button. “When you’re ready, Yunho.”

Yunho started his take. He had clearly practiced beforehand because… he was good.

You couldn’t remember the last time you heard Yunho sing. It must have been one of the last times you spent at his house on a weekend, you practicing bass and he taking a break from whatever school play script he was practicing. You could remember it like it was still happening: you sitting on his bed and he on the floor as you played the song you were learning, him singing softly as you played. And now, his voice was just as smooth as it was back then, only more seasoned and tempered by time.

You didn’t even know that the memory was still in your brain and yet here you were, some part of your heart having gone thunk against your chest because the sound of his voice had been so engraved on your soul in the years you were friends, like a dirt path that existed because it had been walked for hundreds of years, and you were being forced to remember that as he sang the words of a heartbroken second male lead.

Fuck. You thought.

You had completely forgotten you used to have a crush on him.

  previous | main cast | masterlist | next

Send an ask or leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 🎵

luvvvx • iamthehotdemon • hrts4hanniehae • rachs-words •

[maimedaffair]

@spidersins ▐ FIZZ &* ANGEL ↳ ❛ you look good like this. ❜

❛ --------------- huh ?   ❜ fizz is mostly asleep -- thing is , he hadn't meant to fall asleep. BAD HABIT ; dozing off the second he gets comfortable somewhere. ( mostly because he doesn't rest as much as he should. ) this time , it was the couch in his dressing room at ozzie's. he got here early to rehearse &* he'd sworn he was just gonna stretch out for five minutes. but if angel was here ---------- ❛   SHIT. what time is it ?? ❜ he doesn't even notice that his hat is off &* his makeup is half smeared off from sleep. he just knows angel is never here on time to dance &* if he's here , then fizz has definitely overslept ------ why hadn't ozz woken him up ? ( he knows why. ozz would let him miss the whole show if he needed rest. ) ❛ have you gone on already ??   fuck fuck fuck --------------- ❜

hands rub his face , further smushing around the white foundation to reveal scars &* patches of red. a pause. he slowly uncovers his face to eye the other. ❛   ---- wait. i look good like ----- ? ❜ a new panic settles onto his face. a panic &* a deep blush. then a flurry of motion as he grapples his hat &* forces it on. ❛   shit fuck god dammit ----- don't look at me. ❜ long limbs catapult him over to his vanity to start smearing makeup on. nobody saw him without his makeup &* hat ! he couldn't fuck up the perfect image mammon presented.

[renneliaselfship]

Imagine taking the bus home with your f/o after a tired day and falling asleep on their shoulder or the other way around <3

Today was a tiring day and for the first time since I was a very young child I fell asleep on the bus that takes me home and I couldn’t help but imagine Cornelia sitting next to me on the bus, both asleep resting on each other

I did also made a drawing however I have no idea how to draw so I spent like 2 hours doing this and I think the intention is all that counts

You can see what I wrote and the drawing after this point

“The bus is coming,” Cornelia said in a tired voice, waking up early in the morning wasn’t his thing, he didn’t think it was anyone’s thing if he was honest. It was Saturday after all, a day where many overslept and woke up until lunch time but not him or Rene. Thankfully the morning had ended and now they were waiting for the bus to take them home.

The two of them signaled the bus stop, “ah fuck,” Rene said under his breath, it was midday and the bus was full but they still got in it and paid. At least it wasn’t as full as other times where people were barely in the bus, if the bus were to take a curve the wrong way at least five people would fall. Thankfully it wasn’t one of those times. Sure they needed to go standing up but it was better than waiting for the next bus under the sun… right?

Neither of them really wanted to be standing up, especially because the bus was barely moving due to traffic, it would probably take some good minutes to get to the next stop.

Neither of them spoke, one because the chauffeur was one of those who would put the music so loud you could hear the vibrations through your body but also because both were simply just so tired at the moment.

It took around fifteen minutes for a seat to be free and Rene hurried to take it, “give me your bag,” he said to Cornelia once he sat down on the aisle seat with Cornelia standing right next to him.

“I’m fine,” Cornelia replied.

“Just give it to me, your bag is big so it gets in the way when people try to pass to get to the exit at the back,” the seat he got was on the third row so Cornelia was standing close to the entrance. “It is also more comfortable if you stand with nothing on your back,” he added.

That was true, so Cornelia handed the bag to him.

They still hadn’t reached the next stop but they were close to it and since the traffic was so slow some people had decided to get down the bus, sadly it was people standing and one sitting, Rene hoped the person sitting next to him would get off on the next stop.

It felt good to sit down, they wouldn’t get off the bus in a while, their stop was the second to last so maybe he could close his eyes for a moment and-

“Excuse me,” the person sitting next to him was half standing, Rene stood up and let the man get out of the seat, he then moved to take the seat next to the window. Cornelia sat next to him a second later on the aisle seat.

Cornelia took his bag from Rene’s legs, “it is hot and having to bags won’t be comfortable,” he explained, the sun was high in the sky, entering through the window and the weather was hot, it was impossible not to sweat even while just sitting on the bus, so having to bags on your legs meant your legs were going to sweat, in fact, Rene already could feel a bit of sweat right where he had rested his and Cornelia’s bags, it wasn’t a lot so it didn’t really matter, it was mostly the annoyance of it.

Usually it was impossible to sleep in such weather and even more impossible to sleep on a bus but the traffic was slow and both were tired.

Rene rested his head on Cornelia’s left shoulder and closed his eyes, he felt Cornelia’s head on his own, it seemed the two had thought the same.

With this traffic, we won’t arrive home in a while… Rene thought already feeling like he was gonna fall asleep at any second.

~~~

“Hey,” Cornelia woke up by his arm being shaken.

“What?” He sat straight, making Rene wake up confused as to what happened.

“You two fell asleep, what was your stop?” The chauffeur of the bus asked him.

“Ah shit we already arrived at the last stop?”

“A minute ago, a bus it’s about to leave again.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Cornelia said, “we were gonna get down on the previous stop,” he smiled at the man, thanking him for waking them up before getting down the bus.

“Can’t believe we actually fell asleep,” Rene said, both started to walk to their home, from the bus stop it was only three minutes away, “I’ve never been so happy to have this route of buses start and end the trip here.”

“You’re always happy for that,” Cornelia smiled, “should we buy lunch?”

“Yeah, by the way, can you get my phone from me?” He stood next to Cornelia so he could open the bag and get the phone.

“Here,” Cornelia handed the phone to him and closed the bag.

“Damn,” Rene started to walk again, Cornelia followed, both walking next to each other now, “it is 1:30, hopefully we still find some food.”

“We better do, because I don’t feel like cooking.”

“You can’t cook,” Rene said in a joking tone, “let’s hurry up.” Luckily for them, there was a place to buy lunches on their short way home.

[kirishwima]

Bet on me, baby - Part 3 (written portions below!)

****

He's late.

Not one to waste time, you stood outside the shop at 4pm sharp, arms folded across your torso for warmth, glaring at the sun as if it'd personally offended you by hiding beneath opalescent clouds despite the summer month.

You were fine to wait for five or ten minutes, keeping yourself busy listening to music through your overhead headphones and scrolling through your phone, but as the minutes trickled past and your foot tapped nervously against concrete, you frowned, sent another text-it's not rude to wait indoors, not when the guy you're waiting for is a whooping 15 minutes late, now is it?

You make your order and find a cozy corner to sit at, already bringing out your notes and laptop-the sooner you get this done, the better after all, and you suppose there's no harm in getting a headstart until your project partner arrives.

Yet time flows onwards, with no sight of Mammon to behold.

The ice in your drink has already melted by the time you decide to send him another message, now truly furious as you glanced to the clock on the wall across of you.

You look over your final messages with a sigh as you pack up your belongings, standing up from your seat to head out of the shop.

You're all but ready to storm out when the sound of hurried steps marching your way distracts you, a flurry of white all you see as the chair across you gets dragged back on the wooden floors.

Mammon stumbles into the seat, tilting his head back.

"Ha. Made it" he sighs, turns towards you and has the audacity to smirk, a lazy toothy grin as he slumps further into the seat.

He nods towards you in greeting, blinks owlishly behind his sunglasses. An angry red mark covers his left cheek, one he seems more than oblivious to.

You raise an eyebrow at that, momentarily ignoring the fact that he didn't even apologize for being an hour late as he leans back on his seat, balancing the chair on its back two legs.

You stare at him.

You blink.

And scream.

"What the FUCK Mammon?!" you ask.

He flinches, straightens back his chair as it momentarily threatens to fall.

"Huh? What?!"

"What? What do you mean what?! Where were you?"

He rolls his eyes, shrugs his shoulders with a shake of his head.

"I overslept! Some of us have actual social lives y'know-I was out all night and honestly jus' wanted to sleep all day today" he fumes. "Like, who the hell would wanna spend their saturday doing homework with a nerd?"

Your fingers are about to wrap around your plastic coffee cup and fling it to his head, before Mammon carries on with a sigh.

"At least I was going to, but Satan slapped me and threatened to cut all my credit cards in half if i didnt show up and hes a crazy bastard yknow, if he says it then he fucking means it-" he stifles a yawn, "and im hungover as shit. Why does no one care for me in this family?! I need sleep!"

You clench your teeth.

At least he's here you try to rationalize, at least Satan is a decent person that slapped some sense into him because you'd have no qualms to doing so yourself, peace and love be damned, but instead you sigh, turn to him and say;

"Be late again and I'll let your brothers, Lucifer included, know you were an ass to me."

He dared to laugh at that, shakes his hand as if to dismiss you, "And why would they care what the class nerd says?"

Enough is enough.

You slam your hands on the table, commanding the gaze of everyone in the shop to your form, Mammon flinching back, eyes wide and staring towards you.

"Y/N"

"Huh?"

"My name is Y/N. Not nerd. If you had paid even the slightest attention when I was talking to you, maybe you'd get it through that thick skull of yours. My name is Y/N L/N, im a human fucking person who was stood up for AN HOUR on their single day off, because guess what asshole-I have plans too! My day does not revolve around you and your fucking schedule. You have wasted an hour of my precious time, with not so much as an apology for being late, and you come in here and talk to me like I'm an inconvenience to you?!"

You get up, sling your backpack over your shoulder as Mammon sits frozen in place, eyes never leaving your fuming face.

"Well guess FUCKING what. I don't like you either! I could be hanging out with my friends too, or taking up another shift at my part time work and earning actual money, instead of wasting my time and effort here, waiting for you to get your shit together enough to actually get here and start working on this project so we can pass this class!"

You slung your bag over your shoulder, giving Mammon one final cold look.

"Thanks for wasting my time. Go find another project partner, and maybe you two can fail together" is all you say before turning around, walking out the coffee shop without looking back.

Your steps are brisk, pace fast as you make haste, your sole goal to get as far away from this shitty day and back to the comfort of your apartment.

You're about to send a text to Satan, to apologize for going off in his brother after he had the decency to send him to you, when you hear Mammon shuffling behind you, yelling our a 'wait, hold on you ner-uh. Y/N!!'

You do stop at that, turning around with a frown at the sound of your name, arms crossed over your chest.

"What?" you ask.

He's panting, his face washed red, back hunched and hands on his thighs as he looks back up at you-

"I. Uh. Ugh, don't make me say it!"

You sigh.

"Say what, Mammon?"

He grumbles, fidgets with a hand to his hair.

"I'm sorry! Okay!"

'Sorry for what?' you ask, not willing to let this slide. A half hearted apology isn't gonna cut it.

"For...wasting your time. And coming here hungover. And insulting you."

You look him up and down. He's not so bad like this; with this sheepish look on his face, a hand thrown awkwardly to the back of his neck, looking anywere else but your face-even through his yellow tinted sunglasses you can see the deeper shade across his cheeks, a bead of sweat trickling down his right temple, presumably from the effort he made trying to catch up to you.

'Fine' is all you say.

He looks back at you, a small grin of his lips that seems to taste like victory.

"So can we go finish this work now or?"

"No. Not today"

His crestfallen look is almost cute, you muse, but shake your head free of the thought before it takes root in your mind.

"Believe it or not Mammon, I wasn't lying when I said I was a busy person. I don't have anymore time for today, since you so politely wasted it."

"Hey!" he groans, straightening back up, "I said I was sorry!"

"I know. Which is why I'm willing to plan another meetup like this with you. You can come by my workplace tomorrow at the end of my shift and we can plan a rough outline of our topic, or you can text me where you'll be and I can come meet you."

"Where do you work?"

"The local bookstore, down the street from the main campus. You know the one, big but raggedy looking? Has a wooden sign outside called Brimstone?"

He nods, looks to his phone as he replies.

"Yeah I know the one. Satan won't shut up about it."

You exchange further details for a moment, eventually deciding on him coming to pick you up from your work in the afternoon when your shift ends; you guys can go grab a coffee and something to eat at the adjacent coffee shop, and finally get some work done there.

Mammon nods along as you recount tomorrow's plan, his previous attitude watered down and like this-leaning close to you in the busy street, huddled together as you show him the location of your workplace on google maps, his focused little pout, his blue eyes big and juxtaposing thick white lashes-hell, he's almost attractive like this.

Almost.

You bite back the intrusive thought and bid him goodbye, heading straight back to your shitty apartment-you're supposed to finish up your essay today and start on yet another pending report.

Instead you can't get these flashes of white and gold out of your head all day.

*****

-Masterlist-

[amybizarre]

Rainbow Factory (As-sick-stant)

(RF Was created by Dodozoi and belongs to YourInternetMom! ^^)

“I’m late, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late-!”

Your boss, Dr. Walden Darling, was gonna kill you. You could feel it in your veins. Or your horribly stuffed sinuses, whatever you prefer.

First you overslept. Secondly, when you finally did wake up, you noticed a massive headache pounding in your skull. Your eyes were teary, your nose stuffed and extremities cold. You were pretty sure you were sporting a fever, but didn’t take the time to check, as you practically bolted out of bed and into the bathroom.

With lightspeed you brushed your hair and teeth and jumped into your clothes just as fast.

Absentmindedly grabbing your phone, bag and keys you were out the door roughly ten minutes after you woke up.

On your way to work you drove by a bakery. For a minute you contemplated getting yourself a bagel or something, but a quick check of the time told you that breakfast wasn’t gonna happen today. You groaned quietly.

And now you were rushing through the long hallways of the Rainbow Factory, a steaming hot cup of coffee in your hands.

Dark roast, sugar, no cream. Just like every cup of coffee you brought to him.

In your rushed state, mixed with the hazy fog in your brain and the headache you almost added cream to it. Now that surely would’ve cost you your job.

Approximately five minutes behind schedule you opened the door to Wally's office after knocking. He was already waiting for you, impatiently drumming his fingers onto the desk as he skimmed a couple documents. He glanced up at you with a slight glare, when you set the cup down in front of him.

“You’re late,” was all he said.

“I’m terribly sorry about that, boss. I promise it won’t happen again.” You apologized sheepishly.

At the sound of your awful sounding, nasal voice he looked up at you again. This time actually taking in your appearance. He narrowed his eyes and you sweat uncomfortably.

“You look fucking awful.”

“I’m sick, sir."

Dr Darling narrowed his eyes even more before getting out of his swivel chair. He slowly circled around his desk towards you, never taking his scrutinizing glare off of you.

You felt a little bit like a test subject, but you swallowed the growing unease down. You felt too miserable to bicker with him about anything today. The pounding in your head increased, much to your dismay.

When your boss finally reached you, he extended his hand and placed it on your forehead. It felt cool against your sweaty skin and you found yourself closing your eyes.

“Jesus fucking Christ, assistant. I can fry an egg on your head. Why didn't you stay home?” He asked you almost judgingly.

He retracted his hand and placed it on his hip, taking a step back from you.

You made the mistake of meeting his eyes. It made you wince slightly, when you saw how hard his glare was.

“Well?” He prompted you from an answer with a raised eyebrow.

“I just… We had planned to do this major check-up around the Rainbow Caster today and I know how much work that is. I didn't want to leave you hanging… “ You explained, voice nearly cracking at the end which made you cough into your elbow.

Dr Darling’s demeanor softened up the slightest bit. He sighed and placed a hand on your back.

“Alright, that's fair. I appreciate the sentiment. But you are in no working condition today.”

To your surprise he led you towards the door.

“Where are we going…?” You asked quietly.

“To the infirmary, doofus. I can't send you home alone like this.”

“Oh,” was all you managed in response, as you let him guide you through the hallways.